Autumn Rest

For whatever reason, I struggle to write in November. I don’t know if it has something to do with the shift in weather, the pending holiday season, or writing burnout. But every November since I started this blog, I struggle to write. Additionally, dealing with Lytton’s health issues makes it hard to keep up with my weekly writing.

Rather than adding to my stress, I am following my own advice and engaging in self-care. I will be taking the month off from creating new content. If you are a newsletter subscriber, you will still get a new email each Friday morning. If you aren’t subscribed, it’s never too late to join the 2019 wellness challenge.

I will be revisiting some of my older posts for the month on the blog, updating the content with fresh thoughts when appropriate. Join me over at Facebook and Twitter for related articles to my posts.

I will re-start new content on December 2nd, so it won’t be a long wait. I have a gift for all my readers available for download towards the end of the holiday season, so be ready!

Have an excellent November, and I will see you in December.


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Immune & Energy Booster Turmeric Shots

This post was originally published in December 2017.


Several years ago, I participated in an intensive yoga course, which required attending classes at a local studio almost daily and first thing in the morning. This was before my diagnosis, but just after I experienced my first flare-up, so fatigue was an issue for me at the time.

I was complaining to another student while we were waiting to step into the studio about how tired I was. We were doing a strict detox diet, and coffee was not on the approved list. She pulled this small bottle* out of her bag and handed it to me.

Her: “It’s a turmeric shot. These things are great natural energy boosts.”
Me: “Turmeric? As in the spice?”
Her: “Yeah, have you heard about it? It’s got all these great ayurvedic properties, but it’s been found to boost your energy naturally. It’s more potent than caffeine.”
Me: “And it’s safe?”
Her: “Absolutely. It’s all-natural. Just try half of it and let me know what you think after class.”

I tried it, and she was correct. I felt extremely energized. I was almost shaking to get the class started, that’s how powerful it was for me. I will add this note: it was the first of any sort of energy drink I had in weeks. We couldn’t even drink green tea, so the results might have been slightly skewed due to my body just going into overload.

I didn’t get a chance to follow up with the turmeric as an energy booster after that experience. But it stayed in the back of my mind. When I read about the benefits of turmeric in the diet for brain health and as an anti-inflammatory, I decided to look back into it. It might be worth trying to help manage my MS.

The Health Benefits of Turmeric

What makes turmeric the wonder spice is the curcumin. Curcumin is believed to be a beneficial supplement to fight Alzheimer’s due to its anti-inflammatory and brain-boosting properties. It also is found to have cognitive-boosting abilities, though this needs to be researched further. It can also help prevent certain forms of cancer.

These two things alone: inflammation and cognition are issues a person with MS deals with daily. I am not advocating forsaking all other forms of MS therapy. I am adding it to my daily diet to supplement traditional forms of MS therapy. And as a runner, the anti-inflammatory benefits are beneficial to recovery.

But the energy/metabolism and the immune benefits? This becomes a universal appeal for daily consumption of turmeric. Even if you don’t have MS, having a natural way to get more energy and boost the immune system will be beneficial to your health. It may not cure a cold or prevent getting one, but it will give you that extra boost your body might need.

Making My Own Turmeric Drink

Before removing sugar from my diet, I found it harder to stomach turmeric even in a drink form. The taste was too weird, and I needed something sweet to help cover it up. It’s how I handled flavors I didn’t care for in the past: add sugar to make it more palatable.

A few weeks after quitting sugar, I bought several shots of turmeric for an early morning road trip I was making to Tennessee. I took some sips and found that I actually enjoyed the flavor and felt quite the energy boost. Sugar struck again as a ruiner of flavors. Now that it was out of my system, I was able to enjoy something I previously disliked.

But what took my breath away was the price per bottle. I could drink one bottle per day for the health benefits, but my wallet wasn’t going to be fond of the ~$6.00 per 3 fl oz. I knew I could make it even cheaper.

I found a couple of recipes online. However, they didn’t adhere to the vegan diet. They used honey or some other animal-based additive. I decided to create my own recipe. Below the break, you will find my recipe and some ideas for modifications.

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Sugar and Chronic Illness

This post was originally published in October 2017. I’ve updated it to include a follow up since the original publication. Find my thoughts on sugar and chronic illness under my update.

2019 Note: This was a check-in post relating to a series of diet changes I made. Because I was breastfeeding Jai, I could not take my MS medication until I finished. I wanted to find a way to manage my illness until I restarted my medication.


Cutting sugar went smoother than I expected, though there were a few days where I was irritable, according to Ash. I refuse to believe him, but deep down, I know he’s right. No longer having that emotional crutch makes for a very grumpy me.

Psychologically speaking, it was a lot easier than I expected. As long as I didn’t have sugary treats in the house (I tossed all of our sweets or sent them with Ash to work); I avoided buying sugary drinks (everyone knows that my weakness is a good Pumpkin Spice Latte in the fall). If I had fruit for any sweet cravings, I was good to go. Every time I drove by a Starbucks, there was a temptation to pull in and just give in to that PSL craving, but I made sure to keep going and have a few bites of pineapple as soon as I got home.

A couple of times, I did eventually stop at Starbucks, and I made sure only to order an Americano. Before I was pregnant, I was in the habit of drinking all my coffee black unless it was a latte. It wasn’t hard for me to get back into drinking with nothing in them. I think it helped a bit too.

Coffee is a wonder drug (and sadly, probably something I need to add to my drop list), and can make a lot of things better.

I didn’t notice any headaches, though, at the beginning of the week, I was more sluggish and in need of an extra nap or two during the day. By the time Ash came home from work, I was very ready to pass Jai off to him, so I could lay down and not think or move for an hour. By day 3 or so, I had a little more energy, and by this morning (day 5), I had even more energy to do my running around without the need for a nap.

I also noticed that during my long run on Thursday, I was able to keep up with my mom and felt less fatigued at the end of it. I also felt motivated to go again this morning (though that would be off schedule). Me? Motivated to run off schedule? This really is unheard of – I hate running.

While shopping, I made sure to review all the labels like I said I would: any time it was High Fructose Corn Syrup or unidentified form of “sugar,” I would move along. From my research, they said that sugar is hidden in everything, and it really is true. Sugar is everywhere. Foods that I usually love to eat, like certain types of crackers or even grab-n-go frozen meals…all contain sugar. I also made sure to avoid agave and honey. If the item were sweetened with fruit juice or dates – I would be willing to grab it to consume.

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Veganism and Me

This post was originally published in November 2017. I’ve updated it to include a follow up since the original publication.


2019 Note: This was a check-in post towards the end of a series of diet changes I made. Because I was breastfeeding Jai, I could not take my MS medication until I finished. I wanted to find a way to manage my illness until I restarted my medication.

One week of the vegan diet down and going strong. It’s difficult to tell if there’s a difference in my energy level while I am still fighting this chest cold. Still, I do feel like my mood is relatively calm and mellow.

I am anticipating that once I start feeling better that I will notice a spike in my energy levels. After my first flare-up, but before my diagnosis, I went vegan for a few months. I found it as a natural energy booster while I wasn’t consuming caffeine. I expect the same results because I am eating similar to before, if not better, because I am not eating sugar or junk foods.

I am finding that I am craving meats and STILL craving fried foods. While I am not craving beef or pork, I am craving chicken and salmon, mainly fried chicken and fries. I still haven’t indulged in my fried food cravings, but I am astonished at how much harder it’s been to drop those foods. I expected sugar to be the hardest for me to remove from my diet with the cravings, and it hasn’t been.

I occasionally feel sorry that I can’t indulge in sweet treats, especially in the fall, but what I wouldn’t give to have some salty fries right now. Or onion rings. Or mozzarella. Or some sort of fried chicken skin…

I found some puffed veggie “fries” that work as a snack, and I’ve been making homemade microwave popcorn for idle snacking at night. I am going to try baking some fries or a vegan version of twice-baked potatoes. I think either of those might help satisfy my cravings.

Next week is the penultimate food removal and going to be the most difficult with functioning in the real world: gluten.

Overall Health Update

Getting on the scale this morning, I have officially lost 12 pounds from when I first started this journey. It was never about weight loss, but to see that this morning was a huge confidence booster. Hopefully more of it will melt off as I eat healthier and healthier and keep running. Once I finally hit a bottom with the weight loss, I will reveal official numbers.

2019 Health Update

It’s interesting how things come full circle. I maintained the vegan diet through the end of 2017 and into part of 2018 but found it unsustainable when I dropped gluten as well. I re-introduced eating dairy, meats, and gluten and never noticed that energy boost. Still, I suspect it had more to do with not maintaining as balanced of a diet as I intended.

In April of this year, I went vegetarian again and transitioned back to veganism in June. My reasons for transitioning back to veganism had less to do with health, though that was part of it. It had more to do with ethical reasons and being mindful of my overall environmental impact. This time I was more conscious of my diet, especially with all the running I’ve been doing. Since transitioning to vegan in June (but still eating gluten), I’ve had more energy and feel better overall.

I indulge in junk food, especially after several days of intense running training. I just ran an intense half marathon, so one of the first meals I had was a plate full of fries. I maintained the attitude I was going for back in 2017, and that is to embrace moderation.

I still firmly believe making dietary changes have helped me manage my MS while off medication. I won’t say it was any one thing, but rather, being mindful of my eating and ensuring it was balanced. If you could call my eating habits anything, it’s mostly clean eating with the occasional fried/unhealthy indulgence.

As to the weight mentioned at the end of the post, here is the official number reveal I promised. I was 164lbs when I started my journey in September 2017. When I wrote this post in November 2017, I was approximately 152lbs. According to the BMI standards, I was still considered overweight. At my most recent weigh-in, I am down to 130 lbs. This puts me solidly in healthy weight territory.

Two different races, two years apart.

I suspect losing nearly 60 lbs (I was 186 at my highest when pregnant with Jai) helps manage my MS. I don’t know if this is true, but I do feel better overall because of it. I understand this isn’t something everyone can do, especially with a debilitating autoimmune disease, but if you have the means to lose weight, it is worth trying. 

I wanted to revisit this post since I wrote it exactly two years ago, and it was interesting to see what changed and what stayed the same. It’s not often I think of taking the opportunity to see my personal growth.


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Managing Grief with Chronic Illness

“I know that the ones who love us will miss us.”

Keanu Reeves, on what happens after death

Over the past two weeks, I’ve faced an emotion I haven’t dealt with in years. I’ve written about grief before, in the context of coping with a chronic illness diagnosis, but I haven’t reflected on physically losing someone. Relationships come and go, and we mourn losing our connection to a friend, but when death enters the picture, there is a finality to the whole situation we cannot come back. Living with a chronic illness means a strong emotional episode can trigger an exacerbation. That can set us back days, weeks, or even months.

So how do we manage an emotion like grief? 

It’s difficult, because there’s no right way for each person. There are healthy ways to manage grief and unhealthy ways. With a chronic illness, we must find the healthiest way to manage our grief to protect our wellbeing. What shape that takes depend on ourselves.

My Grief

For now, no one is dead in my life. But I have the opportunity to prepare for the death of a loved one. Death can surprise us, or we can have the grace of a timeline. My cat, Lytton, is undergoing some major health concerns. I’ve had Lytton for over ten years, and he’s a significant presence in my life. While he is eleven, I always assumed I would have more time with him.

With each emergency visit and specialist conversation, we are left with the feeling that the end is coming sooner than expected.

Knowing that one of my sources of emotional comfort and napping buddy may soon pass has thrown me headlong into the grieving cycle. I’ve had to reassess priorities and recognize the impact grief will have on my MS if I am not careful.

What follows are some thoughts I’ve had surrounding death and loss. 

Another Thing Chronic Illness Takes…

Chronic illness takes away our ability to grieve in the manner we wish. We can grieve however we want, without regard to our disease, absolutely. But if we have people who depend on us, or we don’t want to deal with a problematic exacerbation, we must keep one eye open to our health.

We must contain and manage our grief.

I am not suggesting “suck it up” or “get over it,” attitudes. No, grieve as long as needed in the necessary form. But be aware of what you are doing and how it might impact your health. Grief is stressful, and if we allow that stress to overwhelm us, we can make ourselves sick.

In the most profound moments of grief, we often do not care about our health. Nothing matters except the loss. Despite how it feels, the intensest moments of pain will pass, and our lives will return to the new normal without the individual. Should we stop taking care of ourselves during our period of grieving, and that helps intensify an exacerbation, the effects of the flare-up may be lifelong. 

To reframe what I mean through an example (this is for illustrative purposes, it hasn’t happened): I allow myself to get so worked up over Lytton’s death that I get an exacerbation. This leads me to lose function of my leg due to numbness, and I must be hospitalized for intervenous steroids. While I have Relapse-Remitting MS, it doesn’t guarantee my leg functionality goes back to 100%. Instead, I leave the hospital with a permanent 80% functionality of that leg. I can no longer achieve the specific goals I had for myself, and I must adapt my life to a new normal. 

I may grieve for Lytton’s death over several years, but I potentially have at least thirty more years to go beyond that. For the few months of intense emotional grief, by not taking preventative measures to balance my health and despair, I’ve impacted the rest of my life. Additionally, Jai loses his mother while I am in the hospital, and I’ve permanently reduced my ability to interact with him. 

I will probably feel guilty for not taking care of myself, needing to be hospitalized, and the impact of the exacerbation on my overall health. All three stemming from a situation where I could have prevented the flare-up through self-care.

Note: with autoimmune/chronic illness, we cannot prevent our flare-ups. They will happen when they happen. We can, however, take steps to minimize them from occurring. It’s remembering to take these steps while grieving to help prevent or lessen the impact of an exacerbation.

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