balance-harmony-chronic-illness

Balance & Harmony in Chronic Illness

2020 is now upon us, and that means a new blog theme for the year at MS Mommy Blog. 2020 is the year of vision: think about the importance of 20/20 vision, and the phrase “hindsight is 20/20.” It is also a year of balance, something that happens once a century. With that in mind, I wanted to focus this year’s theme on balance and harmony. While the year itself holds no power, we can use it to remind ourselves of the importance of incorporating balance and harmony in our lives with chronic illness.

I feel that focusing our energy on personal balance and harmony is timely considering the surge of global unrest and the role this year plays in American politics. I promise never to get political on this blog, but what I will advocate is finding ways to give yourself a break when the news gets to be too much. 

2020 is a year geared towards making a commitment to yourself and finding what keeps you centered in the face of politics, painful news stories, your health, your professional life, and your personal life. There’s a lot to handle this year, so now is the time to say, “I can handle it healthily.”

Let’s take a quick look for what to expect for the rest of this year.

Looking Ahead

In the coming months, look forward to posts on the following themes:

  • Moderation in our habits & mind
  • MS Awareness
  • Further examination with self-compassion in the face of physical limitations
  • Learning to balance strong emotions
  • Working through mental imbalance and bringing that into harmony
  • Embracing self-acceptance
  • The importance of work-life balance with a chronic illness
  • Embracing self-care for overall satisfaction
  • In the face of uncertainty, finding internal balance
  • Healing from disappointment and external turmoil
  • What is inner peace and how to find it

Balance & Harmony in a Chronic Illness

So what is balance and harmony with a chronic illness?

I am hoping that this year will help answer that question. I have my ideas of what it looks like for me, but as I do an in-depth examination into what others say on the matter, I might find my answer changes. I want to spend this year exploring this theme not just for myself, but for my readers as well.

Like last year, I will be chronicling my journey as I learn more about myself and what helps me manage my MS

New Features to the Blog

2020 is a year of different opportunities for me that I want to share with you. I plan on having several new features that run weekly or monthly on the blog. These include:

The weekly newsletter will be revamped shortly, so look for new newsletters in the coming weeks. If you haven’t signed up for it yet, please do so now!

Attention to Chronic Illness Bloggers!

The MS Mommy Blog is looking to collaborate with other chronic illness bloggers for this year. If you have a chronic illness blog and would like an opportunity to tap into the MS Mommy Blog audience, please contact me here. I look forward to hearing from you.


Like this post? Make sure to follow me on your favorite social media platform and show some love by sharing it. Links found below.

Featured photo credit: Canva

Advertisements


2019-a-reflection

2019: A Reflection

For the past two years, I’ve written a reflection for the last post of the year. Read 2017 here and 2018 here.


2019 was the year of the crucible. I underwent a lot of “lessons” in life; some brought on via self-reflection and others brought on by the natural flow of life. I learned a lot about myself, my capabilities, and where I see myself going in the future. In the three years, I’ve done these posts, it was the most challenging year emotionally, but the easiest year relating to my MS.

The Down Points

  • From October to December, I encountered some of the most challenging months in my adult life. These months rivaled my diagnosis with all the emotional upheaval. I lost Lytton in November, one of my forms of emotional support, while dealing with other challenges at the time. It felt piled on.
  • I continued to do a lot of heavy self-reflection, particularly with my role in my relationships and anger. The self-reflection often left me drained, but I am getting better at managing both. 
  • While I am getting better with my time management, I still struggle to get ahead on my work and stay ahead. With the past few months of upheaval, I’ve fallen drastically behind on several projects. I am struggling to get back into the swing of things. Additionally, I am grappling with being kind to myself because of this lag. I am seeing missed time as time wasted.
  • I am fighting against a victim mentality that crops up when experiencing a downcycle. My cat passed, I am falling behind, I am struggling to achieve goals, etc. – all played into previous internal tapes of “woe was me.” I have moments where I curl up in bed with a book or my phone to escape, but I try to set myself a timer to break out of it and be productive again, even if it’s with one task.
  • This last one needs to be at the end because it straddles a down point and positive point: getting back on my medicationThe down aspects of getting back on Tecfidera: it definitively means Ash and I are stopping with Jai for children, it’s a physical acknowledgment of my MS, and the pain I am about to undergo with the first month of side effects. 

The Positive Points

  • I decided to re-start my medication because I knew it was the right thing to do for my health. By re-starting Tecfidera, I am creating a more significant buffer between my well-being and my MS. It is an insurance policy to help me manage my MS when I have another downcycle of stress/emotional change. It’s also a physical acknowledgment, to myself, that my health is worth it.
  • I rediscovered my love of reading this year. It’s been over ten years since I sat down and read a book for pleasure. While in graduate school, I was afraid of wasting time on pleasure books when I could be doing research. I also found that graduate school temporarily blocked my love of reading because of all the heavy lifting I did. But I vowed to read more for the blog, so I started with audiobooks and graduated back into the physical medium. As I started getting into depths of the emotional upheaval that was this fall, I read more to escape. I found reading to be a soothing distraction, educational at times, and it also sets an excellent example for Jai. I plan to continue to read more in the coming year.
  • While my time-management was less than ideal, I learned that the more organized I am, the more satisfied I feel. I also found that I am less stressed if I have a flexible plan in place. I am less likely to put things off, though I still have my moments of procrastination. If anything, I learned that I am one of those people who benefit from structure, minimalism, and organization.
  • Last year I contemplated the role toxic friendships played in my life while feeling frustrated that a lot of my relationships had harmful elements. I recognized I stacked my friendship cards against me by rejecting or minimally pursuing positive relationships in my life. This year, I opened myself up to new relationships while maintaining my sense of self, something I hadn’t done before. Because of it, current friendships grew more profound, and I made a bunch of new friends along the way. 
  • My running took off this year. I ran in three different states (Florida, Nevada, and Wisconsin), and even PR’d on a half marathon, almost making it below two hours. I officially decided that I would begin the process of qualifying for the Boston Marathon. While I have a long way to go (like running a marathon in the first place), it’s a goal I’ve created for myself to see what I can achieve. I think my running has helped me manage my MS and my emotional well-being, along with getting me in a healthier space.
  • While it hasn’t been my most traveled year, I did get around the country quite a bit for 2019. I traveled to Florida for a Walt Disney World running weekend in January; I went to Las Vegas for my best friend’s birthday in March; and to Wisconsin twice (July & November) to visit with my in-laws. It was a year filled with a lot of new experiences, which I enjoyed very much.
Read More

Happy Holidays

From our family to yours: we hope your holidays are sweet and bright. Stay safe, and may you be blessed with the spirit of the season.


Like this post? Make sure to follow me on your favorite social media platform and show some love by sharing it. Links found below.

Featured photo credit: Canva


Self-Generosity

This post was originally published in December 2017. I have updated this post.


At this time of year, life can get overwhelming. There are social, familial, and professional obligations that all demand our full attention. While these demands don’t go away, they do seem more urgent at the end of the calendar year.

It is easy to get caught up in these demands and struggle to prioritize them (and sometimes they don’t allow for reasonable prioritization). It leaves a person feeling frazzled, burnt out, and hating the holiday season.

That isn’t the case for everyone, but I am sure we’ve all had moments in life where we would like to skip straight to January 2nd and move on with our lives.

We’ve run into others who feel this way: try going into a mall around this time of year. I’ll just leave it at that.

Piling on top of the usual life demands are calls for generosity from various organizations at the end of the year. Commercials are filled with pathos-based appeals to get the viewer to donate to multiple causes. Religious leaders ask their people to open up their wallets and give money, toys, or time to those who are less fortunate. Stories of tragic events lead to calls for donations of food, items, and blood. Passive social pressures increase with social media pages flooded with posts from others announcing their generosity.

It gets incredibly overwhelming.

The issue is that when we think about the term “generosity,” we think about it as giving to others. But look at the definition of the word:

Generosity
nounplural generosities.

1. readiness or liberality in giving.
2. freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or character.

3. a generous act:
   We thanked him for his many generosities.

4. largeness or fullness; amplitude.

Dictionary.com

Nowhere in the definition does it specifically define generosity as an act we give to others. It is an act of giving and love, but with no designated recipient.

When we get caught up in the minutiae, we completely forget about the importance of taking care of ourselves. Societal pressures states we should be generous with our time and care for others. Still, it’s tough to care about another person if we don’t take care of ourselves.

If we care for our own needs first, we can be more useful for others. And when everything becomes too overwhelming, we might be able to see through it with less stress and frustration.

The Importance of Self-Care

I saw this quote posted on a friend’s Facebook wall, and it was the foundation for this post. I kept the original formatting:

self care isn’t always lush bath bombs and $20 face masks. sometimes, it’s going to bed at 8pm or letting go of a bad friend. it’s forgiving yourself for not meeting your impossible standards & understanding u are worth it. self care isn’t always luxury, but a mean for survival

Cheerful Nihilism

Self-care quotes, personal revelations about self-care, articles expounding self-care all make the rounds on a reasonably frequent basis. Some of them connect with us and others we either ignore or go, “yeah, if only it were that easy.”

All the wisdom in the world about self-care/self-generosity does not mean anything if it doesn’t connect with you. And let’s be blunt about the quotes/revelations/articles: they aren’t saying anything new. It’s all steeped in common sense.

We just need them to remind us every so often.

I am not an expert that can espouse pearls of wisdom of how to better take care of yourself, but I do recommend that you be more generous to yourself. Allow yourself to be more selfish.

But this isn’t the same when we think about being selfish. It’s is a loving form of selfishness.

Recognize that you need to take care of yourself before you can care for others. The Mayo Clinic recommends that caregivers take care of themselves first before they take care of others. They acknowledge that a person must be selfish if they are going to be an effective long-term caregiver.

Everyone is a caregiver. For some, it’s for another person; for everyone, it’s themselves. We all must care for ourselves.

Read More