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I am emotionally drained after these last two months of writing.
I am not complaining, I am just observing that it’s been rough for me mentally and emotionally. While most of my self-reflection occurred before writing these posts, I still had to sit down and re-open doors I previously shut.
I opened up about my negative internal thoughts and my self-doubts. Many drafts of my posts started one way, only to take a completely different turn in the editing process. It was a fantastic exercise for me to undergo, but I am ready for a break.
This is an excellent time to say that the MS Mommy Blog will be taking a week’s break next week. No new newsletter on Friday, July 5th.
I became hyper-aware of my emotional ups and downs through this two-month long writing exercise. I discovered that my motivation flags in June and November, with a massive uptick in self-doubt each of these months. In November, I struggle to write. I found throughout June while focusing on self-doubt, my own doubt increased. I had a similar issue last year, so I don’t believe it was the topic, but I know it did not help.
Learning this about myself was a benefit. I now know that there are times of the year to expect emotional low-points, and I can be more prepared to handle it.
That said, I am ready to burst into more positive topics. How about you?
Pushing Past Self-Doubt
In dealing with my “June de-motivation,” I found that I had to push through the lack of motivation and self-doubt I experienced. I powered myself forward, knowing that I would eventually feel reinvigorated once I overcame this mild hurdle. There were many moments where I wanted to give up on my blog and call it quits. But I have goals, and the only way to reach them is to keep going.
I acknowledge that “powering through it” isn’t the solution for everyone, but I wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone when you experience moments of self-doubt and wanting to give up.
I’ve mentioned it before on the blog: I had an unspoken goal to get healthy. I wanted to live a healthy life, and I never took steps to get fit before my diagnosis. Post-diagnosis I was too caught up in my internal turmoil to figure out what “getting healthy” meant.
So much self-doubt and personal frustration prevented me from moving forward. I kept waiting for the “perfect” moment. When all the stars aligned. When I had the physical and financial means to “get healthy.”
Fortunately, I realized that perfect timing would never happen, so I would have to ignore my self-doubt and just start. Ignoring my self-doubt, calming down my negative internal thoughts, all of this helped me achieve my unspoken personal goal without realizing it.
I am waiting to meet with my GP in August for my annual physical, but I suspect they will diagnosis me as “healthy.”
Focusing on Positive Thoughts
Additionally, I found that focusing on the more positive aspects of my life helped me achieve my goals.
The power of positive thinking gets a bad rap sometimes. It’s understandable. It’s hard to be positive in a cynical world, and being positive isn’t going to change your personal circumstances. It can, however, help you start making the changes needed to alter your situation.
Positive thinking, like anything else, needs to happen in moderation. We want to maintain a healthy assessment of ourselves and our abilities. Self-doubt can keep us grounded provided we don’t allow it to overrun our thoughts.
In the coming months, I will be focusing on the more positive aspects of our wellness journey. You may find this to be more enjoyable, or you may find it more painful, as reflecting positively on ourselves can hurt just as much as our negative thoughts.
In July, after the break, we’ll be looking at the positive aspects that make us up. Hopefully, you will find it a refreshing and welcome change.
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Featured photo credit: Canva