Love & MS

This post was originally published in February 2018. I’ve updated it to include a follow up since the original publication.


We don’t get to choose whether or not we get MS, nor do we get to decide when we get that diagnosis. For some, it comes while in a relationship, and for others, it happens outside of one.

Either scenario forces the following self-reflectiondoes my partner stay with me? And, do I disclose my situation on a date? MS is challenging because it turns partners or potential partners into caretakers.

It fosters self-doubt after the diagnosisis my partner with me because they feel obligated? Do they resent having to care for me? Are they only interested in me because they have to “fix” me? What happens if they leave or die before me?

It is little wonder that many bloggers and experts refer to MS as the third wheel in a relationship. It’s an unwanted obstacle that can put a strain on any current or budding relationship.

The Third Wheel

MS is the unpredictable cousin that comes into your life and needs a place to crash until they get on their feet. They take up space on a centrally located couch and refuse to leave when you want to watch a movie with your partner (or bring a date home). They say they are looking for a job, but really spend all day watching half-hour courtroom shows with ads for injury lawyers.

It’s that cousin that interrupts you every time you want to have a conversation with someone. Because of the interruption, you forget what you were saying and get frustrated because you can’t remember.

Simply put: MS is an unwelcome third-party to your relationship that isn’t going to leave anytime soon. No matter how many times you ask it to get its act together and move on.

Trying to figure MS out and how it factors into a relationship is extremely hard. In addition to maintaining a relationship, I am trying to learn my limitations. How much do I put on or ask of Ash? Should I even ask him to help? Is the relationship lopsided? Am I really that bad that I need his help? Or am I just imagining things?

MS is always hiding in the background of every thought or action I take. I have to plan out my day to make sure I have enough energy for when Ash gets home to make any interactions with him meaningful. I have to pause frequently and ask myself: am I feeling this way because this is normal for someone who only got 4 hours of sleep with a teething toddler, or is this because of the MS?

As you can see, I ask myself a lot of questions. I tend to overthink things, and so it takes a lot of energy to manage my MS. So when it is time for quality time with Ash, sometimes I just don’t have what it takes to be the partner I think he deserves.

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Autumn Rest

For whatever reason, I struggle to write in November. I don’t know if it has something to do with the shift in weather, the pending holiday season, or writing burnout. But every November since I started this blog, I struggle to write. Additionally, dealing with Lytton’s health issues makes it hard to keep up with my weekly writing.

Rather than adding to my stress, I am following my own advice and engaging in self-care. I will be taking the month off from creating new content. If you are a newsletter subscriber, you will still get a new email each Friday morning. If you aren’t subscribed, it’s never too late to join the 2019 wellness challenge.

I will be revisiting some of my older posts for the month on the blog, updating the content with fresh thoughts when appropriate. Join me over at Facebook and Twitter for related articles to my posts.

I will re-start new content on December 2nd, so it won’t be a long wait. I have a gift for all my readers available for download towards the end of the holiday season, so be ready!

Have an excellent November, and I will see you in December.


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positive-chronic-illness-blogs

Positive Chronic Illness Blogs

As we get towards the end of summer, and the end of a month focusing on positivity, I wanted to share some of my favorite chronic illness blogs out there, especially ones that focus on staying positive while managing their illness. Life with a chronic illness is difficult, but it’s nice to read others who have a similar approach to the disease: engage with the positive.

Please take a moment to read through these blogs and give them a follow if you haven’t done so already.

Multiple Sclerosis Blogs

  • Fight MS Daily: Alyssa chronicles her ups and downs as she manages her MS, but she always has a positive spin to offer her readers
  • Dinosaurs, Donkeys, & MS: I love following the adventures of Heather and her “donkey” dizzy as they journey through life with MS. Through Dizzy do we get a positive perspective of living with MS.
  • Tripping Through Treacle: The name alone promotes positivity, as treacle is sweetness in the UK. Jen works to educate people on life with MS from a positive and honest perspective.

Chronic Illness Blogs

  • Invisibly Me: Caz pours everything into this fantastic blog about life with an invisible, chronic illness. You’ve seen her comment frequently here, always something sweet and positive to add to the conversation.
  • Crafts, Chronic Illness, & Adulting: Coping with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CC&A seeks to educate readers on life with an invisible illness and fatigue. She also shares her artwork and crafts. What drew me to her blog is her humor and approach to life.
  • Life with an Illness: Mackenzie also chooses to approach her chronic illnesses (which include Lupus, Celiacs, and Fibromyalgia) with positivity and never giving up as much as possible.

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Featured photo credit: Canva


MS Mommy Blog: Summer Break

MS Mommy Blog will be taking this week off for a quick summer break.

Look for memorable re-posts on Facebook and Twitter. While I’m taking the week off from new posts, I will be working behind the scenes on new content and new opportunities coming up in the next couple of months.

May you have a safe and enjoyable holiday this week and look for new content on July 8th.


Like this post? Make sure to follow me on your favorite social media platform and show some love by sharing it. Links found below.

Featured photo credit: canva.com