Personal Motivation

Make a “Day of Service” a Year-Round Event

In the United States, today is a day of service meant to honor the life and message of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Many people have the day off, so it’s easy to coordinate events for people to volunteer and do good within their community. There are plenty of opportunities to go out and do something specifically for the day. These tend to be small time commitments meant to make the most of the volunteers’ work.

Yet, it is only one day out of the year set aside for helping others. Consider expanding commitments to be a year-round thing if capable, double/triple/quadruple the good throughout the year. It doesn’t need to be every week or every month; if committing once every other month is possible, it still goes a long way to help others.

Making the commitment to do something more has its place, specifically for your health. I’ve already mentioned that there’s a lot of positive health benefits for a person who is generous with their time for others. And being generous to themselves. It also sets a great example for your children to do more within their community when they get older.

Below are some ideas for honoring Dr. King’s legacy throughout the year.

Continue reading “Make a “Day of Service” a Year-Round Event”

Personal Motivation

Staying Resolute

Being organized is great to keep those New Year’s Resolutions on track, but that’s only half the battle. The other half is finding ways to maintain your motivation when you feel your drive to achieve personal goals slump. Setting mini-goals and creating rewards are the more obvious ways to keep going, but those are things to work towards, and not ways to stay motivated in between mini-goal to mini-goal.

That’s where we need to get creative.

Consider what motivates you. Depending on the resolution or personal goal, I am motivated by bad consequences or personal growth. Neither of these are bad nor correct. They are just what works for me.

After you’ve identified what keeps you going, consider what you need to do that aligns with that form of motivation. Below are some ideas for general motivation and productivity, but consider modifying a few to better suit your own needs.

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Personal Motivation

Mystery Blogger Award

mystery-blogger-award

Fellow MS blogger, Alyssa at Fight MS Daily, nominated me for this blog award. I am thrilled and honored to be nominated; it means a lot to know that others read and appreciate my work, just like I appreciate their writings and insights. Please take a moment to check out Alyssa’s blog and follow her – she provides a lot of positive energy and support to those working though their MS diagnosis.

Mystery Blogger Award:

It’s an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion.
– Created by Okoto Enigma.

The rules are:

  • Put the award logo/image on your blog.
  • List the rules.
  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  • You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  • Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).
  • Share a link to your best post(s).

My answers to Alyssa’s Questions:

  • What is your favorite exotic animal?
    • Probably the Slow Loris. They are so stinkin’ cute.
  • If you had a magical wand, what are 5 things you would do?
    • Fund research for all illnesses/diseases until cures are found
    • Make those cures accessible to everyone regardless of income
    • Fully fund educational, nutrition, & health NGO’s in all countries in need
    • Create a public transit system in Atlanta that is agreeable to everyone
    • Create a fully furnished house of my dreams in the location of my dreams
  • If you could visit any place in the world, where would you go?
    • India. Specifically Goa because that’s the only way I can get Ash to go with me. He’s been multiple times to visit family friends and he would prefer to just go to Goa the next time he’s there.
  • What is your favorite color?
    • Kelly Green specifically. I love all sorts of earth tones, but that’s my favorite color of all.
  • I know y’all have many, but what do you feel is your biggest strength?
    • Not letting anything get me down for an extended period of time.

Three Things about me:

  1. I am owned by three cats: Edward, Byron, and Marlowe.
  2. I am able to wiggle my ears and fold my tongue two ways at once
  3. I’ve been to London twice.

My Nominees:

Please take a moment to check out their blogs – they are really fantastic and inspirational.

  1. Jen, Tripping through Treacle
  2. Hannah, My MS & Me
  3. Cheche, Cheche Winnie
  4. Tamara, The Purple Almond
  5. Teri, Motherhood Defined
  6. Priyabrataa, Mistimaan
  7. Val, Find your Middle Ground
  8. Thirty on Tap
  9. Running on Happy
  10. Running Diva Mom

My Questions for my Nominees:

  1. If you came into a great sum of money, what would you do for fun?
  2. What is your favorite food?
  3. Where do you see yourself in five years?
  4. Would you like to be famous or infamous?
  5. Cat or dog person?

My Best Post:

Coping with Personal Stress” – I chose this one because I think it is one of my most reflective posts regarding my illness and how I have learned to handle it outside of medical intervention.

The Last Word:

Even if my nominees don’t want to keep this award going, know that I nominated you because I really enjoy reading your blog and it’s made an impact on my day-to-day life.

Personal Motivation

Be Generous to the Most Important Person: You

At this time of year, life can get overwhelming. There are social, familial, and professional obligations that all demand our full attention. While these demands don’t go away, they do seem more urgent at the end of the calendar year.

It is easy to get caught up in these demands and struggle to prioritize them (and sometimes they don’t allow for reasonable prioritization). It leaves a person feeling frazzled, burnt out, and hating the holiday season.

That isn’t the case for everyone, but I am sure we’ve all had moments in life where we would like to skip straight to January 2nd and move on with our lives.

We’ve run into others who feel this way: try going into a mall around this time of year. I’ll just leave it at that.

Piling on top of the usual life demands are calls for generosity from various organizations at the end of the year. Commercials are filled with pathos-based appeals to get the viewer to donate to various causes. Religious leaders ask their people to open up their wallets and give money, toys, or time to those who are less fortunate. Stories of tragic events lead to calls for donations of food, items, and blood. Passive social pressures increase: social media pages are flooded with posts from others announcing their generosity.

It gets extremely overwhelming.

The issue is, that when we think about the term “generosity” we think about it as giving to others. But look at the definition of the word:

Generosity
nounplural generosities.

1. readiness or liberality in giving.
2. freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or character.

3. a generous act:
   We thanked him for his many generosities.

4. largeness or fullness; amplitude.

Dictionary.com

Nowhere in the definition does it specifically define generosity as an act we give to others. It is an act of giving and love, but with no defined recipient.

When we get caught up in the minutiae we completely forget about the importance of taking care of ourselves. We are told that we should be generous with our time and care for others, but it’s extremely hard to care about another person if we don’t take care of ourselves.

If we care for our own needs first we can be more effective to others. And when everything becomes too overwhelming, we might be able to see through it with less stress and frustration.

The Importance of Self-Care

I saw this quote posted on a friend’s Facebook wall and it was the foundation for this post. I kept the original formatting:

self care isn’t always lush bath bombs and $20 face masks. sometimes, it’s going to bed at 8pm or letting go of a bad friend. it’s forgiving yourself for not meeting your impossible standards & understanding u are worth it. self care isn’t always luxury, but a mean for survival

Cheerful Nihilism

Self-care quotes, personal revelations about self-care, articles expounding self-care all make the rounds on a fairly frequent basis. Some of them connect with us and others we either ignore or go, “yeah, if only it was that easy.”

All the wisdom in the world about self-care/self-generosity does not mean anything if it doesn’t connect with you. And let’s be blunt about the quotes/revelations/articles: they aren’t saying anything new. It’s all steeped in common sense.

We just need them to remind us every so often.

I am not an expert that can espouse pearls of wisdom of how to better take care of yourself, but I do recommend that you be more generous to yourself. Allow yourself to be more selfish.

But this isn’t the same when we think about being selfish. This is a loving selfishness.

Recognize that you need to take care of yourself before you can care for others. The Mayo Clinic recommends that caregivers take care of themselves first before they take care of others. They acknowledge that a person must be selfish if they are going to be an effective long-term caregiver.

Everyone is a caregiver. For some, it’s for another person; for everyone, it’s themselves. We all must care for ourselves.

Continue reading “Be Generous to the Most Important Person: You”

Personal Motivation

Checking In: Coping with Personal Stress

Today a major milestone in my health journey. Five years ago today, I had my very first MS flare-up. At the time, I didn’t know what it was, but I was lucky enough to get answers less than a year later.

Today’s post contains a more in-depth tale of my journey to the MS diagnosis and what brings about my flare-ups. Read the shorter version here.

2012: The First Time

A few days prior to my flare-up, I finished up my final classes, got my grades in, and flew up to Connecticut to help my parents move. As an only child with one year of marriage under my belt, my parents wanted to leave the cold hollows of New England and join Ash and me in Georgia.

This was a particularly hard journey for me because it meant that I would be saying “goodbye” to my childhood home. We moved in when I was 6 and I had many fond memories stored inside; there were over 20 years of memories and I was extremely sad to no longer have the ability to visit it.

December 13th would be my last night sleeping in my old room, and on the 14th I would help my parents finish loading up the moving truck and help them drive down to Georgia over the next three days.

I was not in a good mood. I was grumpy, irritable, but most of all, stressed out.

It was my second year teaching college students composition, struggling with normal Graduate school stressors, and now the final stress of losing what felt like a family member was too much for me.

But there would be more.

On the 14th, a little more than an hour away from my location, Newtown happened. I had to keep it together to help finish the moving process, but inside I was really struggling with all of my feelings. I had a tight burning in my chest as I swept and mopped the living room floor. I had to keep everything together.

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The product of my labor: a clean living room floor. Possibly the only time I did this chore in this house.

 

We loaded up the truck around 6pm, my mom and I hopped in her car, and we headed south while my dad followed in the moving truck. We were headed towards Pennsylvania where we planned to stay for the night at a motel.

I slept on a pullout bed which was extremely uncomfortable. I was exhausted, so I didn’t think much about the day’s events, and I fell asleep.

When I woke up, there was an oval spot in my right eye’s field of vision. I had a slight headache and I was feeling unwell. At first I thought my glasses were dirty, but no matter how often I cleaned them, that spot wouldn’t go away. I rubbed my eyes thinking there might be some junk with no luck. I didn’t understand what was happening as we went to get breakfast at the local McDonald’s.

11226876_1052955848052436_1091784488_n
Found on the restroom door of that McDonald’s. Even with the spot in my eye I could see how dated this was…

I had had migraines before, but I never experienced an aura prior to the migraine. Normally I would not have a migraine and then boom, migraine without warning. My migraines were increasing in frequency. I would have one once a year and I was starting to get them every 6 months or so, so when I looked up my eye symptoms, it seemed like a natural progression.

Figuring it was an aura, I was relegated to being the navigator when I didn’t have a black skull cap I bought at a gas station over my eyes to help manage what I thought were the beginning moments of a migraine. When we stopped in Virginia for the night we all thought the spot would go away with a good night’s sleep.

It did not. In fact, it got worse. It didn’t cover my whole field of vision, but it was more prominent. The day before, I could kind of see through this smudge. Now it was a translucent spot that partially blocked objects.

I was definitely scared. I didn’t know what was happening and how to fix it.

Continue reading “Checking In: Coping with Personal Stress”

Personal Motivation

Checking In: Losing the Pounds

When I started to make these lifestyle changes several months ago, my main reason was to keep my MS under control, fight my fatigue, and model good eating/exercising habits for Jai.

It was never about weight loss.

In fact, I anticipated that I would lose 5 pounds TOPS and just continue on my way of maintaining a specific weight range as I made these changes. I lost around 20 pounds in the first few weeks after giving birth, but the weight slowly came back from bad habits formed during the first few months of breastfeeding.

I had fallen into the trap of “I am craving this and because I am burning extra calories from breastfeeding, I can afford to eat extra sugar/fried/foods without extra exercise.” It stung to see myself steadily rise back to my pre-pregnancy weight. That’s when I started thinking about making changes, but not really committing to anything productive.

I started this blog and after the first week of dropping sugar, I lost 3 pounds. Within a few more weeks, it was 9 more pounds. It’s been almost a month and a half since my last weight update and I’ve lost an additional 13 pounds. I have officially lost 25 pounds since I’ve started this blog. I have lost even more from my highest weight, though I am not ready to reveal that number yet.

I’m waiting until I hit a specific weight-loss number from my highest weight before I do a “before/after progress post.” I anticipate that will be within the first few months of the New Year. It’s a good goal to reach for when I recommit myself.

Continue reading “Checking In: Losing the Pounds”