My Personal Goals for 2019

I originally published this post privately to my newsletter subscribers. For 2020, I wanted to share some of the posts my subscribers received in 2019.


On Wednesday, I discussed setting attainable personal goals by using the S.M.A.R.T. model for goal creation. I shared one of my small goals for the year, which was getting more organized with dinner planning, but that was just one small goal I came up for 2019. 

For 2019, I have 5 goals. My resolution lists tend to be one-goal long, but in my year of wellness, I am going to be more ambitious.

I am so ambitious because when I was fifteen I imagined where my life would be when I turned thirty-five. I had a very specific vision for myself professionally, but I also had a vision of where I would be emotionally and mentally. I always admired people who were relaxed, well-balanced, and seemed to exude positivity while not allowing negativity to cloud their behaviors.

I viewed them as healthy (physically & mentally) and well-adjusted. In my teenage mind, it was light years away from my reality and I wanted to be healthy “when I grew up.” Thirty-five was such an arbitrary age to pick at the time, but I think it gave me twenty years of experience and practice to become that ideal person. 

Last week I turned thirty-five and I realized several months ago that I was inadvertently working towards my teenage goal through the blog.  Now that thirty-five was here, I decided to make the commitment to become who I felt I was meant to be.

This desire to be my “best self” does not require me to fundamentally change who I am, I believe that anyone can be healthy & balanced emotionally & mentally, but pull out what is already there. I have had more moments of healthier behaviors since starting this journey, so this is a matter of augmenting and encouraging the healthy stuff while minimizing the negative stuff that caused me to be stuck in the past.

This isn’t a journey about perfection, but recognizing my imperfections and no longer allowing them to hold weight in my life. It is a journey about the actualization of a lifelong goal.

How I will Achieve This: the Main Goal

My ultimate goal of becoming a healthier person is rather intangible, so I have break it down into smaller, more tangible goals. As mentioned in Monday’s post, making an intangible goal like happiness or becoming a better person shouldn’t be the primary goal, but secondary to other more measurable goals.

I want one large goal that will take the entire year to achieve and four small goals that will work towards this goal in some way. Everything works together to ensure success by the end of this year.

My main goal for 2019 is to lose 10 pounds.

While this has little to do with the concept of living my best life at thirty-five, it does mean that in order to successfully achieve weight loss, I will need to make internal changes that increase my chances of success.

I have to be satisfied with my disease management, find inner peace, set an external goal to work towards, and work towards minimizing my stress. By doing these internal, secondary changes, my main goal shouldn’t be as big of an issue.

Think of losing 10 pounds as a red herring. Not really my main goal, but it’s what drives me to get to me where I want to be.

Don’t worry, this wellness challenge is not going to focus on weight loss, this is my own personal goal. I will not be pushing weight loss throughout the year and my discussion about weight will be at a minimum. All examples used will be more focused on chronic illness and other aspects of life.

Smaller Goals for 2019

The other four goals I have will be broken up in 3-month chunks for deadlines. While it will be good for me to be mindful of all my goals throughout the year, I staggered them apart to build on each other. 

  1. Meal Planning  – Done by April
  2. Do more yoga or cross-training during the week – Scheduled and done consistently by July
  3. Run a faster 1/2 marathon – I have a half marathon planned for November (but able to determine my speed by October)
  4. Work towards being more stress-free – End of December

As you can see, each of these goals ties in some fashion with my year-long goal. If I plan my meals better, I am more likely to eat healthier. More cross-training means I will be exercising more often. Run a faster 1/2 marathon is a measurable goal of success, and being more stress-free means less chance of emotional eating (which can put on extra weight).

Actualizing a Lifelong Goal

These goals create a situation where the secondary benefit is becoming a healthier person, emotionally and mentally. I am taking my abilities and limitations into account: I have found that with more physical activity, the more relaxed I am throughout the day. When I manage my time well, I am less likely to have a short-temper when dealing with others. When I do more yoga, I feel a deeper connection and compassion towards everyone and myself. Finally, when I work towards being less-stressed, I am more content with my life and MS diagnosis.

Through the work of these seemingly unrelated goals, I will become that healthier person I imagined for myself at fifteen.


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What It’s Like: Taking Tecfidera

For January 2020, I committed myself to get back onto MS Disease-Modifying Therapy (DMT) or Disease-Modifying Drugs (DMD). My rationale is that while I am managing my MS well without medication, any DMT provides an insurance policy against disease progression. My healthy living changes were always with the end goal to work as a complement to my DMT. And as a blogger, I wanted to share what it’s like taking Tecfidera as a DMT.

Part of the reason why it was so quiet in January is because I focused on getting onto Tecfidera, managing my self-care, and my regular mother duties.

What follows is a brief introduction to Tecfidera, my experience getting back on it, a comparison to when I first took Tecfidera in December 2014, and my final thoughts on the whole experience.

As per my medical disclaimer, I am not a medical professional, so please take what follows as my personal experience and anecdotal, not scientific fact. If you are on Tecfidera or consider taking Tecfidera, you may find your experience varies from mine. 

The Medication

There is information on the website about Tecfidera, so if you are thinking about taking it for your MS, I recommend going directly to the source for your research. I wanted to highlight information that related to my experience.

Tecfidera is a DMT that is believed to “modulate the immune response to be less inflammatory and […] could be protective against damage to the brain and spinal cord.” It helps keep your body from inflammation, a common problem with MS exacerbations. Biogen isn’t able to pinpoint what about the drug works, just that it helps reduce the occurrence of exacerbations. In a 2-year study, 27% of the people on Tecfidera found their exacerbation cut by 47% (compared to a placebo). 

Note: Biogen only links to two two-year studies.

Some of the known side effects include flushing and stomach pain, usually within the first month of starting the therapy. Flushing can occur anywhere but typically face, chest, and hands. Stomach pain can range from mild discomfort to physical distress. Both of these side effects decrease the longer you take the medication. After a month, the stomach pains typically end, and within several months, the flushing stops. 

Tecfidera is also known to bring on Progressive Multifocal Leukoencephalopathy (PML), a disease that attacks your brain and leads to death if not treated. The JC Virus causes PML. Most adults carry the dormant JC Virus with no ill effects, but taking Tecfidera is known to reactivate the JC Virus. Unfortunately, three MS medications do this. Fortunately, getting PML is rare.

To combat this, Biogen recommends getting frequent blood tests to check for JC Virus antibodies. If you reach a specific number of antibodies in your blood, then there’s a chance you have PML and should stop your DMT immediately. If your prescribing doctor does not recommend regular blood tests, please ask for them.

There are more side effects, warnings, and suggestions related to Tecfidera, so I recommend you check that out here.

Biogen provides patients with a tapering pack when you begin the therapy. This pack includes fourteen 120-mg pills: take one 120-mg pill twice a day for seven days. It also consists of a container with 240-mg pills, which is the normal dosage: you take one 240-mg pill twice a day for the rest of the month.

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Embrace Moderation

Let’s be honest for a minute. It’s hard to embrace moderation sometimes. Some days you want to pile fried food on top of fried food, so you have a mountain of crispy, oily, golden goodness. Or you go out with your friends and decide “I’ve been good with my drinking lately, let’s just go wild and worry about the consequences later.” After each of these incidents, you may say to yourself, “I am eating nothing but salads for the rest of the week,” or “I am never drinking again.” 

You’ve just swung to extremes.

Have you noticed that when you are amid an extreme, how unsettled you feel? As you pile on another onion ring from the buffet, there may be a voice in the back of your mind saying, “maybe you shouldn’t do that?” Or when you accept that third shot, that voice says, “you’re going to regret this in the morning.Likewise, that voice is back there when you are piling on the salad greens, “this is gross, and I am sick of salads.” Or, “I wish I could have just one drink because that cocktail looks delicious.

I think our bodies and minds desire moderation. Having some restraint in our decisions leaves us feeling balanced and in control. When we ignore or drown out the voice suggesting moderation, we throw everything off balance in favor of extreme behavior. Sometimes we don’t recognize it as extreme.  

Moderation isn’t just Physical

In the above examples, I highlighted the physical side of moderation. It’s easy to show the swing of excess to prohibition with food and drink. But consider this: we do the same with emotions and our thinking. We can allow our feelings to overrun our perspectives, so we act out without thinking. Embarrassed or ashamed, we may try to steel ourselves against any future emotional outbursts. We vacillate between overly emotional to stone cold.

Or, we allow specific thoughts to overrun our minds until we are thoroughly stressed out. Then we swing to escaping into watching tv, playing games, or finding some other way not to think.

When we experience uncontrollable thoughts/emotions and move to hyper-restrained thoughts/emotions, that leaves us unsettled just as the physical extremes do. We become off-balance and feel more out of control, despite believing we are getting everything under control.

Remember the last time you were in an “extreme” state? What caused you to swing in the opposite direction, and how did you feel when that happened? Often, the event that triggers the swing is trivial, but our distress is so intense that we over “correct.”

Now think of the times where you felt balanced. It may be a specific area of your life, not all of it. Imagine how you might be deflecting situations that generally cause you to swing back and forth. Do you? Or do you brush these incidents off and keep moving, staying in balance?

That’s moderation, and it’s vital to bring moderation into all aspects of your life to bring yourself more in balance.

Embrace Moderation

In short, moderation couples with mindfulness. I wish I could escape talking about mindfulness, but as I deal with my chronic illness and life changes, I’ve found that being mindful keeps me on the path of moderation and contentment.

Over the last few months, I’ve been working through the lessons that moderation teaches me. I want to share what I’ve learned, what I am currently learning, and what I hope to gain from these lessons for the rest of February.

This year is going to be a year of extremes, so learning to embrace moderation on a mental level will help protect me emotionally and physically for what’s to come. I want to share this insight at the beginning of the year, so understand where we go for the rest of the year.

Attention to Chronic Illness Bloggers!

The MS Mommy Blog is looking to collaborate with other chronic illness bloggers for this year. If you have a chronic illness blog and would like an opportunity to tap into the MS Mommy Blog audience, please contact me here. I look forward to hearing from you.


Like this post? Make sure to follow me on your favorite social media platform and show some love by sharing it. Links found below.

Featured photo credit: Canva


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Balance & Harmony in Chronic Illness

2020 is now upon us, and that means a new blog theme for the year at MS Mommy Blog. 2020 is the year of vision: think about the importance of 20/20 vision, and the phrase “hindsight is 20/20.” It is also a year of balance, something that happens once a century. With that in mind, I wanted to focus this year’s theme on balance and harmony. While the year itself holds no power, we can use it to remind ourselves of the importance of incorporating balance and harmony in our lives with chronic illness.

I feel that focusing our energy on personal balance and harmony is timely considering the surge of global unrest and the role this year plays in American politics. I promise never to get political on this blog, but what I will advocate is finding ways to give yourself a break when the news gets to be too much. 

2020 is a year geared towards making a commitment to yourself and finding what keeps you centered in the face of politics, painful news stories, your health, your professional life, and your personal life. There’s a lot to handle this year, so now is the time to say, “I can handle it healthily.”

Let’s take a quick look for what to expect for the rest of this year.

Looking Ahead

In the coming months, look forward to posts on the following themes:

  • Moderation in our habits & mind
  • MS Awareness
  • Further examination with self-compassion in the face of physical limitations
  • Learning to balance strong emotions
  • Working through mental imbalance and bringing that into harmony
  • Embracing self-acceptance
  • The importance of work-life balance with a chronic illness
  • Embracing self-care for overall satisfaction
  • In the face of uncertainty, finding internal balance
  • Healing from disappointment and external turmoil
  • What is inner peace and how to find it

Balance & Harmony in a Chronic Illness

So what is balance and harmony with a chronic illness?

I am hoping that this year will help answer that question. I have my ideas of what it looks like for me, but as I do an in-depth examination into what others say on the matter, I might find my answer changes. I want to spend this year exploring this theme not just for myself, but for my readers as well.

Like last year, I will be chronicling my journey as I learn more about myself and what helps me manage my MS

New Features to the Blog

2020 is a year of different opportunities for me that I want to share with you. I plan on having several new features that run weekly or monthly on the blog. These include:

The weekly newsletter will be revamped shortly, so look for new newsletters in the coming weeks. If you haven’t signed up for it yet, please do so now!

Attention to Chronic Illness Bloggers!

The MS Mommy Blog is looking to collaborate with other chronic illness bloggers for this year. If you have a chronic illness blog and would like an opportunity to tap into the MS Mommy Blog audience, please contact me here. I look forward to hearing from you.


Like this post? Make sure to follow me on your favorite social media platform and show some love by sharing it. Links found below.

Featured photo credit: Canva