A Return & Refocus

I spent the last month prepping and figuring out how to manage our new life in self-quarantine. Learning to adjust with a new normal? Something I’m used to with a Chronic Illness. I got this.

So far, we stayed safe and healthy. We are minimizing travel away from home as much as possible. I’ve reduced our movements more and more, stretching out the time between grocery store trips. 

I am currently going on Day 8 since the last store trip. I am hoping to make it to at least April 20 before needing to go back out again. We’re even minimizing deliveries from major online retailers.

It hasn’t been easy, and because of needing to make adjustments, it took me a while to settle into a new routine that included blog writing. I am hoping that I will be able to blog more frequently now that I have 1: more time and 2: more time.

Keeping Busy in a Pandemic

Keeping busy and focused at this time helps. I’ve taken advantage of the time to work on a couple of my goals for 2020. Back in December, I wanted to figure out a better daily schedule for myself. I’ve talked about finding workable time-management strategies before, and now was the time to hone it.

I understand that this is a unique situation. The daily schedule I set up for myself may not be feasible once we start getting back to it, but maybe if I do it long enough, I will find a way to adjust when things return to normal.

What I did was this: create a color-coordinated block schedule for myself, detailing all the different tasks I wanted to each day of the week. Have I stuck with it 100%? No. But I do try to stick to it as much as possible and be gentle when I get taken away to do a different task. That is key, and this schedule is a guideline to help keep me focused, not something to stress me out.

I also settled on a weekly to-do list. Pulled from Day Designer (not a sponsored link), I make adjustments to the Weekly Planner design every Monday and use that sheet for the whole week. I put down to-do items for the appropriate day as I think about them and then work off of that list for the day.

I find that this keeps me super productive throughout the week. When I feel productive, I feel better, mentally, and emotionally. I still have my moments where I feel particularly stressed over everything. Still, I do feel like I am making the best of the current situation. 

Going with the Flow

If the global slowdown reinforced anything with me, it’s the need to go with the flow. I was unable to focus on my writing during the last month as I prepped my family, managed my health, and figured out what we needed during this time. I decided that I was okay with this because I had to be. My health and my family comes first, and if it meant temporarily sacrificing something, then I would do it

I could either fight what was going on, or I could keep moving forward.

Fighting would mean more stress and frustration. Plus, what is there to fight? My favorite restaurant cannot do dine-in, so why be mad at them? Holding onto that anger of the injustice of it does me no good and only increases my stress. 

When I accept that I am not able to go where I want to go, run with who I want to run with, and do things as I usually do, I feel a less intense emotional pull. 

Yes, this is a frustrating situation. Yes, having feelings of anger are entirely valid and reasonable. But holding onto those feelings without providing a productive outlet only serves to poison me, not help me. Accepting that I have no control over this situation grants me a modicum of control. 

Best Laid Plans…

As a general blog policy, I like to have a theme for the year and sub-themes for each month. It keeps me focused, but allows me to explore different facets of each topic. I had ideas for balance and harmony in 2020, but when the pandemic hit, all was cast aside. I couldn’t focus on themes, research, and writing while preparing.

Now that I’ve found my stride, I still can’t. Not because I don’t want to, but it doesn’t seem appropriate. How can I write about balance and harmony when the whole world, without hyperbole, is out of balance? It looks rather privileged and lacking self-awareness.

So I’ve had to take a step back, for the time being, scrap my original plans and refocus for the next few months.

A Temporary Refocus

For the next few months, I am going to go without a theme. Instead, I am going to be writing about what I am thinking, feeling, and doing at this time. Both as a parent and as a person with a Chronic Illness. I am going to maintain my general position: self-care, self-compassion, and focusing on health.

I am not going to hide from what is going on, but rather embrace it. Some posts will be directly related to the pandemic, and other posts will be pandemic adjacent. As I said above, it’s essential to go with the flow, which is what I will be doing for the time being.

I hope you all are staying safe and healthy at this time and that you do what’s best for you to maintain your mental and emotional health.

Attention to Chronic Illness Bloggers!

The MS Mommy Blog is looking to collaborate with other chronic illness bloggers for this year. If you have a chronic illness blog and would like an opportunity to tap into the MS Mommy Blog audience, please contact me here. I look forward to hearing from you.


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embrace-moderation

Embrace Moderation

Let’s be honest for a minute. It’s hard to embrace moderation sometimes. Some days you want to pile fried food on top of fried food, so you have a mountain of crispy, oily, golden goodness. Or you go out with your friends and decide “I’ve been good with my drinking lately, let’s just go wild and worry about the consequences later.” After each of these incidents, you may say to yourself, “I am eating nothing but salads for the rest of the week,” or “I am never drinking again.” 

You’ve just swung to extremes.

Have you noticed that when you are amid an extreme, how unsettled you feel? As you pile on another onion ring from the buffet, there may be a voice in the back of your mind saying, “maybe you shouldn’t do that?” Or when you accept that third shot, that voice says, “you’re going to regret this in the morning.Likewise, that voice is back there when you are piling on the salad greens, “this is gross, and I am sick of salads.” Or, “I wish I could have just one drink because that cocktail looks delicious.

I think our bodies and minds desire moderation. Having some restraint in our decisions leaves us feeling balanced and in control. When we ignore or drown out the voice suggesting moderation, we throw everything off balance in favor of extreme behavior. Sometimes we don’t recognize it as extreme.  

Moderation isn’t just Physical

In the above examples, I highlighted the physical side of moderation. It’s easy to show the swing of excess to prohibition with food and drink. But consider this: we do the same with emotions and our thinking. We can allow our feelings to overrun our perspectives, so we act out without thinking. Embarrassed or ashamed, we may try to steel ourselves against any future emotional outbursts. We vacillate between overly emotional to stone cold.

Or, we allow specific thoughts to overrun our minds until we are thoroughly stressed out. Then we swing to escaping into watching tv, playing games, or finding some other way not to think.

When we experience uncontrollable thoughts/emotions and move to hyper-restrained thoughts/emotions, that leaves us unsettled just as the physical extremes do. We become off-balance and feel more out of control, despite believing we are getting everything under control.

Remember the last time you were in an “extreme” state? What caused you to swing in the opposite direction, and how did you feel when that happened? Often, the event that triggers the swing is trivial, but our distress is so intense that we over “correct.”

Now think of the times where you felt balanced. It may be a specific area of your life, not all of it. Imagine how you might be deflecting situations that generally cause you to swing back and forth. Do you? Or do you brush these incidents off and keep moving, staying in balance?

That’s moderation, and it’s vital to bring moderation into all aspects of your life to bring yourself more in balance.

Embrace Moderation

In short, moderation couples with mindfulness. I wish I could escape talking about mindfulness, but as I deal with my chronic illness and life changes, I’ve found that being mindful keeps me on the path of moderation and contentment.

Over the last few months, I’ve been working through the lessons that moderation teaches me. I want to share what I’ve learned, what I am currently learning, and what I hope to gain from these lessons for the rest of February.

This year is going to be a year of extremes, so learning to embrace moderation on a mental level will help protect me emotionally and physically for what’s to come. I want to share this insight at the beginning of the year, so understand where we go for the rest of the year.

Attention to Chronic Illness Bloggers!

The MS Mommy Blog is looking to collaborate with other chronic illness bloggers for this year. If you have a chronic illness blog and would like an opportunity to tap into the MS Mommy Blog audience, please contact me here. I look forward to hearing from you.


Like this post? Make sure to follow me on your favorite social media platform and show some love by sharing it. Links found below.

Featured photo credit: Canva