MS Mommy Blog

For the month of November, I am taking each day to highlight some element in my life that I want to express my gratitude about. This could be something deeply personal or just a passing appreciation for something more superficial. 


In my final post focusing on things I am grateful for, I wanted to spend some time talking about the blog itself.

I started the blog back in September 2017 without any real plan or fully formed goal in mind. I just wanted to have a space to discuss my healthy living plans and how it worked out for me, but with no real long-term intentions. While I still consider this blog in its early stages, it’s refocused into something more: space where I can talk about my MS, my healthy living goals, and an honest discussion of my self-improvement journey.

As I enter my second year of blogging, I’ve come up with more concrete goals and plans to re-focus the blog into something more meaningful and deeper purpose.

This blog has helped me to maintain my sense of self and reconnect with a childhood dream and for that, I am grateful for the blog’s existence.

Childhood Dreams

When I was a little girl I watched the Wonderworks Anne of Green Gables over and over again. I wanted to be exactly like Anne Shirley, a writer when I was older. In my mind, I would be a fiction writer of some sort, the dream evolving into the direction of a fantasy author similar to Martin or Eddings. With that goal in mind, I focused my education so I could become a writer, I took a bunch of creative writing classes in High School, got my undergraduate in creative writing, and when I went to graduate school, chose literature so I could teach for a living and write in my spare time.

Life, as I have said many times in my posts, got in the way and caused me to get sidetracked. I felt worn down and defeated when it came to my writing because I felt I was never going to be good enough to get published. I had ideas, I felt like I had some talent, but I couldn’t compete with what was out there. The market evolved and changed from my childhood and the need for novelists diminished. Those in the field had to be good. I didn’t believe I would ever be good enough.

Graduate school didn’t help because it re-trained my creative writing and focused on the academic-bend. This made my writing and writing process clinical and focused on the technical aspects of writing. No longer could my writing be organic, but it had to be planned out. It did, however, help train me to write under the pressure of a deadline. I am grateful for that.

Best Laid Plans…

I just assumed that my dreams of becoming a published author were just that: dreams. I would end up teaching until I retired and then I would reconsider writing as a second career.

I defined “being a writer” on the fiction side of writing. To me, while I am a fan of non-fiction authors like David Sedaris, a writer was someone who published fiction novels. I wanted to be like Anne Shirley and get a novel published. Fiction writer. Next “great American novel.” That sort of thing.

My ego wasn’t lacking.

So any other writing I did outside of fiction didn’t count in my mind. I viewed my blog writing similar to my academic writing: very clinical with some points here and there to make it more interesting, but not really writing. It wasn’t until a conversation Ash had with me a few months ago that it clicked in my head:

Ash: You’re a writer.
Me: What? No. No, I am not.
Ash: Yes you are! What are you doing?
Me: Writing.
Ash: And…
Me:…
Me:…
Me: I suppose it does count.
Ash: Of course it counts.
Me: Huh. I guess I am a writer.

It wasn’t a loud “aha” moment, more of a slow realization. Ash was right, I was a writer. I have been writing several thousand words a week, writing even more than I did in graduate school. More than when I wrote on my own in my youth. I was writing for myself and what I wanted to write about and that made a huge difference.

I had realized my childhood dream of writing for a living even if it took a different route and form I originally anticipated. That doesn’t mean I can’t spend time working on my more creative pieces, I can foster that on the side. But I can officially say that I am a writer because of my blog.

A Creative Accountability Buddy

What MS//Mommy has done the most for me is keeping me accountable to my plans and goals. I post about what I want to do health-wise and I find that knowing it’s out there helps keep me honest and focused. When I slip up, I try to post about it, but I feel like I am less likely to slip up because I have put my intentions out there.

I like to think that my continued health journey success is in part due to my activeness on the blog.

I also find that the blog helps make my intentions more real, like writing down items for a shopping or to-do list. If I put it to “paper,” then I have said that this is important for me to be more mindful. After finishing up my two-part post about toxic relationships, I’ve made more of an effort to be okay with no longer allowing toxic people in my life.

My posts about coming to terms with my MS helped me move forward in a more constructive way. While I was in a much better place than when I first got my diagnoses,  speaking about it put any final fears or doubts I had to rest.

Beyond all of that, just the creative act of writing has been extremely cathartic for me. It has allowed me to have a sense of self and self-worth that I was worried I might lose once I became a mother. It is easy for a woman to be defined solely by her children, and I was worried I would get too wrapped up in Jai’s life.

I love my son, but I don’t want to be defined by him. I have nothing against other parents who allow that to happen, that is what works best for them.

I am able to say that while I am a mother I am a writer as well.

The Future

I am hoping that my blog will continue to grow and that it will take on a greater meaning for others and not just myself. I am also hoping it will help open up professional avenues I never imagined possible when I started out last year.

I feel like I’ve been less stressed in my life since starting my blog and for that, I am grateful to have in my life. Any stress I feel related to the blog is the good kind of stress that pushes me forward and keeps me motivated. I can’t wait to see where this takes me in the next five years or so.

Thank you for coming along this journey with me.


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Featured photo credit: Michelle Melton


Early Childhood Education Blogs

An important resource for teaching a toddler at home is the availability of blogs on the internet.

Twenty years ago it would be a trip to the bookstore to find a book among whatever the store had to offer. The publisher would vet a resource before printing to ensure the information was accurate and achieved a specific goal. Now we can search what we might need/want on our phone within seconds because anybody can put anything out there.

Therefore, finding a reputable resource can be difficult. Some blogs use tactics to shoot up to the top of the search results, which means that just because it’s on the front page of your favorite search engine doesn’t mean it is a good resource to use.

Not all of us go to school for early childhood education, so we aren’t familiar with the priorities in teaching a little one before they are ready to go to preschool. The researcher training I received means that I can’t just search for a specific milestone Jai should be hitting. I need to be sure whatever information I walk away with is credible.

I don’t want to be teaching him incorrectly or placing an expectation on him before he’s cognitively ready because the blog has their months wrong.

What you’ll find below are some tips for vetting your own research to determine if a blog is worth following or if they are spreading misinformation. Granted, this is less of a concern when it comes to early childhood information, but operating under that belief that a child should learning something before they are ready can make the task of preparing them for school frustrating.

How to Vet a Blog

There are several simple steps that I follow to determine if a blog or article is credible, especially if it’s on a topic I am unfamiliar with, like childhood education. Many of these suggestions seem like common sense, but even I’ve been guilty of skipping a step or two only to find a resource isn’t credible later.

Pre-Research Steps

  • Go to the experts first. Determine what are your national standards for a particular age and their recommendations. I find these sites can be a bit stuffy for their ideas which is why I branch out into the wilds of the internet.
  • Decide what you are looking for: activities or material for teaching.
    • Activities do not need as much vetting. Before you start the project, you can determine if it will be age appropriate or doable.
    • Material for teaching is where it gets dodgy. If your child is interested in space you may find that you stumble upon a set of blogs that advocate for alternative theories on planet shapes. Even the ones that advocate mainstream ideas may have incorrect facts that you inadvertently teach your little ones.

Vetting a non-scholarly/non-expert blog

  1. Do a search for the activity or material you want to do with your little one. Read the blurbs underneath the site header on the search page to determine what the site will offer.
  2. Once you click on the site, make the following observations. These are all meant to help you determine the resource’s motivation for getting you to visit their page:
    1. What is at the end of the domain address? is it a “.com,” “.edu,” or something else? My blog is a “.blog” for reference. This will determine the type of site you are visiting. Anything that isn’t .edu/.gov/.org (though .org can be problematic at times) means that the site is commercially run. It doesn’t mean they aren’t an expert, just that they may have other motives to draw you to their site.
    2. What do you see when you first visit the site? Are you met with pop-ups to join a newsletter? A  bunch of ads (if you don’t use ad block)? Cluttered layout? None of these are bad on their own, because all of these are used as a means to earn the blogger money, but it helps you determine their monetary motivation.
    3. Is the resource sponsored? Many bloggers who want to remain reputable will disclose that the post is sponsored by someone else. If the post is sponsored, is it a company you are familiar with? If it isn’t, again, not a bad thing, but you may want to do a more thorough check to determine if the product is worth getting or if you want to go with an analog. If the blogger does not disclose sponsorship, but it is clear that’s what is happening, then consider finding another resource.
    4. Check to see if there is a clear bias on the page: this can be a belief system, lifestyle, or product recommendation. Again, none of these are bad, but it might affect the material or activity you want for your little one. It is just something to be aware of as you set it up/do your research.
  3. Check the length of the post. Quantity doesn’t mean quality, but I do find there is a healthy balance in some of my favorite resources. If a post has too many pictures before getting to a very short blurb on the activity, I am less likely to stay and use that specific resource because it will be annoying to have to keep scrolling down if my page accidentally refreshes (a problem on my phone). Likewise, if the post is too short, and I need more information, I’d rather go elsewhere because it is unlikely they actually know what they are talking about.
  4. Does the information match up with the pre-research you did on the actual expert blogs? If not, but looks like something you could use later, it would be worth bookmarking until then. But be mindful about all the other information posted on the blog.
  5. See if they link out to other resources within the post, especially if you are looking for teaching information. I try to link out to other blogs/resources as much as I can, especially if I am writing a more informative post because that helps demonstrate my ethos and commitment to quality blogging. This isn’t super important to your vetting process, but it may mean that they are a blog worth following for future ideas.

It may seem like a lot of steps to go through in order to determine a blogs relevancy, but it’s worth it because it can help weed out the bad information or activities out there. Many blogs you stumble upon on the first page of a search are there because they deserve to be, but sometimes you manage to get a less reputable one in the mix.

Below are my current recommendations for some favorite childhood education blogs.

Read More


Cleaning & Schedule Printables

Wrapping up this week on schedules, I wanted to share some printables I created for our household to help effectively manage our time. I threw in an extra bonus printable for the bloggers among us: how I try to schedule my blog work.

Cleaning Printables

Read the corresponding post here.

Daily Cleaning Schedule: There are tasks that need to be completed all the time, so I broke it down so there would be a room/cleaning task to be completed each day of the week. This prevents spending all day cleaning the entire house but maintains the house a little at a time. For example: every Monday, I clean the kitchen in the afternoon, so I wrote it down in the corresponding spot.

Monthly Cleaning Schedule: Just like the “Daily Cleaning Schedule” there are certain tasks that need to be completed throughout the month, but not every week. I scheduled a deeper clean of the bathroom every second Sunday of the month for example (versus a quick wipe-down of the high-traffic areas).

Month-to-Month Cleaning Schedule: This is where I get a little over-planning: I break down the tasks that need to happen each month throughout the year. These are more general nature, but I like reminders that every March and October there’s a local electronics recycling drop off one day on the weekend. By placing this reminder in the corresponding month, it allows me to check to find the actual date. I also put down what decorations I want to put up and when I want to take them down for the household.

Daily Schedule Printables

Read the corresponding post here.

Daily Agenda (Personal): I broke it down with the top priorities for the day and kept a loose agenda rather than writing out all the times (some days there just isn’t much to do). I also provided a space for tasks that carried over from the day before, additional to-do’s, and a “to buy” list because I am always needing to remember to purchase something.

Daily Blog Schedule: This is only one page in my expansive printable I created for my daily blog schedule. I will probably devote a whole post to this printable some time in the future, but I wanted to share a general page for those looking to start organizing their blogging. I try to put in the daily reminders/to-dos along with collaborative workspace. The schedule has a dual work area for blocking out time to work on the blog next to personal activities/requirements.

Please let me know what you think about these printables in the comments below. If you choose to use them, make sure to credit me and do not redistribute without my permission. Contact me here if you would like to make a request.


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Creating a Productive Schedule

Next to maintaining a clean house, having a daily personal schedule helps keep everything running smoothly because I love efficiency.

Ash will tell you that I get annoyed in the store if other customers navigate the aisles inefficiently and interfere with my shopping experience. Likewise, when I feel inefficient in my day-to-day routine, I get frustrated with myself. I am constantly trying to figure out the best way to manage my schedule in order to get the most efficiency and productivity within my day.

Having a toddler makes this doubly difficult because I have to be mindful of his needs and flexible to his own schedule. If he refuses to eat a meal when it’s time to eat, that can throw the day off because I will have to make sure he’s fed when he’s ready an hour later.

MS & Scheduling

With MS and any chronic illness that has some sort of energy or movement inhibitor, there are a limited amount of hours each day a person has to get things done. Those hours aren’t guaranteed because of the nature of the illness, therefore you have to account for the possibility of spending the day in bed and being okay with that scenario.

I’ve mentioned how important scheduling can be when dealing with children and MS. The key is to be mindful of when I have the most natural energy (un-caffeinated and no early morning exercise), what I want to get done during that period, and how I want to get it done.

My reasoning for this mindfulness:

  1. Knowing my daily natural energy peaks provides a baseline for the most I can expect to get done without any “outside” help. Drinking my morning cup of coffee or going for an early morning run/yoga session give me energy boosts that may not be there every day. If I set my daily goals based on my natural energy when I have days with an energy boost, I feel more productive which might help me get even more done.
  2. MS has forced me to prioritize my life where I have to set 3 major goals for the day during my high-energy periods. The first item is the most important where the third can be pushed back to tomorrow’s top item. Anything on my list that I complete beyond that helps feed the productivity ego boost.
  3. Figuring out how I am going to get something done is equally important. With my MS and a child, simply stating I will sit down and write a bunch of emails doesn’t cut it. I have to squeeze communications in while Jai is asleep or decide to multi-task laundry while I clean the kitchen during nap time.

Additionally, being mindful of my energy valleys is important. I know that around noon I start to get fatigued and after Jai eats lunch I am ready to lay down for a nap or rest between 2 – 4pm. On days where I am out of the house or so busy with a project that I miss my rest means that Ash has to take over parenting as soon as he gets home from work until it’s time to put Jai to bed.

I try to not overdo it, but I do find that because of the unpredictability of MS, it’s like a light switch. I will be fine, fine, fine, and then something flips and I am immediately exhausted with no warning. I try to be aware of any warning signs so I can rest before I overdo it, but most days I am too busy to pay attention.

I am still not sure if I have any warning signs.

Below are my tips for how I create an effective schedule that works with my MS:

  • Take a week or two to track your natural schedule. This will include your energy peaks and valleys, what you do when, and how you feel when you do it. Try to be mindful of whether or not you take an energy boost and how that affects your energy (medication, coffee, exercise, etc.).
  • Analyze your schedule and see if you can find a pattern. This is difficult with MS because each day can be completely different, but you might be able to see that around 10 am you have more energy than you do at 2pm.
  • Try to adjust your new schedule to reflect these high energy periods and schedule a rest during the low energy ones. Prioritize the more important items/appointments during a peak period of your day and not stress if the less important stuff doesn’t get accomplished until tomorrow.
    • If you work outside the home, napping at your work may not be a possibility, but finding a quiet space where you can sit with your eyes closed and undisturbed for 10 minutes might be something you can fit in. Scheduling meetings and important projects doing your high-energy periods work as well.
  • Embrace the productivity energy boosts when you get them. I find it invigorating when checking items off my to-do list. Those little boosts can be so energizing that it feeds into itself to get more done. Just be mindful to not overdo it and wear yourself out.

I think these tips are helpful for people without MS or an illness that interferes with energy levels, but it wouldn’t be my go-to set of suggestions for them. What follows are some broader observations/techniques that have helped me boost my productivity.

Read More


Blogs to Check Out this Summer

As a blogger, it’s important to read and support other bloggers out there, especially those in your area of interest.

In the summer, sometimes I love sitting down and flipping through a good blog while sipping lemonade and appreciating the AC. I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite blogs that I follow relating to my areas of interest and beyond.

Please give these bloggers a read, they are worth adding to your “to read” list.

MS & Chronic Illness Blogs

Motherhood/Parenting Blogs

Inspiration Blogs

Fitness Blogs

Writing & Art Blogs

What are some of your favorite bloggers out there? I am always looking for more recommendations to add to my reading list. Leave a link to your blog (or someone else’s) in the comments.


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Featured photo credit: Canva