Is More Better?

I fall into the trap of thinking more, newer, shinier is better. When a new phone generation comes out, I am counting down the days when I can trade my working phone in. If I am purchasing a new product, I always check to see when the company plans to release an updated version to avoid buyer’s remorse. One thing I dislike is buying a new gadget and finding out I could have waited a week for a newer one. Buying multiple devices to do one thing in my kitchen happens. I sometimes feel more is better.

Having a child changed my perspective. When the house started to get cluttered with toys, I realized more is not better. Less really is more. 

It was at the height of the Kon-Mari craze that I realized clutter was getting in the way of my satisfaction. But it wasn’t just physical clutter; it was mental clutter as well. I spoke about this in my two-part post about toxic relationships.

Sometimes I jam up my physical and mental space with a lot of stuff to feel distracted and in control. Upon reflection, I realize I am more out of control with the more stuff I accumulate. 

The Drive For Things

It’s a much longer post to dissect the human drive for “things.” Rather than doing a deep dive into psychological research on a macro-level, I want to reflect on my own experience accumulating “stuff.”

I think I, like many other people, buy into the idea that more is better and better makes me happy. It’s necessary to make that statement in the present tense because it is something I am currently working on. For example, I am attending a wedding soon. I feel a cultural drive to go out and buy a brand new dress for the occasion. I have at least one acceptable dress, yet I still feel this strong urge to get a new one.

Why is that? I honestly can’t explain it, and in light of recent celebrity events, purchasing a new dress isn’t environmentally sustainable.

I can’t help but feel like I am committing a social faux pas if I don’t buy a new dress. The bride doesn’t care; the groom doesn’t care, and no one but myself cares over this relative trifle matter. Yet the drive for more is there.

This drive for things is standard, at least for a person living in America. Our country grounded itself in Manifest Destiny, the journey forward, and for more resources. I do not imagine a cultural push towards accumulation; it is there, telling me I am discontent with what I have. Western culture, at large, thrives on materialism. 

Each time I want a newer phone, a newer kitchen gadget, a newer dress, I am engaging in that cultural drive for more stuff. But what happens when I get what I want?

According to science, wanting is all well and good, but our reasons for wanting material goods is problematic. We want things because we think that a new item will make us happy. Often, it does not because it does not solve the core issue: what makes us discontent. My wanting a new dress is stemming from a desire to show off something new. But will that make me happy? Probably not. 

Instead, I will feel bad for wasting resources on an article of clothing that I will either wear once or rarely. 

Limited Resources

With a chronic illness, we are limited in our resources. For some, our financial resources are low due to care costs, and for most of us, our mental resources are little due to the disease. 

We do not have the space for clutter. Yet, somehow I can convince myself a second slow cooker will be helpful around the house. Granted, it was an Instant Pot, and it has been beneficial, but now my older slow cooker is taking up precious space. 

Having extra things causes me anxiety, and that’s normal. I feel anxious every time I walk into the house and see something out of place. I am not looking for pristine perfection in my house, but not feeling overwhelmed by items would be nice.

It is the same with my mental clutter. When I have too much going on in my mind, too many things “to-do,” worries about social mistakes, or just general messy thoughts, I get anxious.

I believe, for me, accumulating stuff and thoughts are ways to control the environment around me. I’ve talked about my need for control before and how illusive control is in life. If I keep buying stuff, maybe some of those items will make my life easier. Often, they end up collecting dust because I go back to my old way of doing things. I end up wasting time, money, and learn nothing about how I don’t need to fix something that isn’t broken.

If I am looking to be more efficient with something, chances are I don’t need a new item, but can be creative with what I already have. When I am more resourceful, I find pleasure in the challenge and a solution that works.

Likewise, I clutter my mind by distracting myself with reading, gaming, and wasting time online because I don’t want to be alone with some of my thoughts. Occasional distraction is good, but we’re talking about spending days trying to keep my mind so distracted to avoid dealing with an issue. 

Reflecting on Moderation

So far, the best solution I’ve found for myself is to begin stripping down my life. I realized this in December 2019, before the Christmas Holiday. A holiday that embraces material excess, I recognized the need to move things out of the house before bringing in new stuff. We never excessively celebrate Christmas, but bringing in two new items is still two new things that need space.

Ash and I started to assess what we needed and what we could live without. Unfortunately, the first section was our books. We have hundreds of books that we don’t read, but take up space. We stripped down most of our collection, and I bought a Kindle PaperWhite. Another item! However, I can access most of the books I purged and utilize the local library online. I traded hundreds of books, hundreds of pounds of items, and multiple shelf spaces for a small, lightweight gadget. 

So while I still engaged in materialism, I did so in a smarter way. Rather than buying a new book that I may not read, I can borrow it when I am ready to read it, and it remains in a digital space. Since taking this small step towards moderation, I feel more relaxed. I have more space to store other items, and I no longer feel the need to acquire more physical books. 

I am living in one extreme, with too much stuff, and I am taking small steps towards moving towards the middle. I feel more in control because of it. I think because I am decreasing my desire to chase after things and reflecting on an intelligent way to spend my money. 

Likewise, with my thoughts, I am forcing myself to confront them more often. I still distract myself, but I make an effort to tackle a “to-do” item or soothe a negative thought at least once a day. The more I do in a day, without feeling overwhelmed, the better I feel. 

I am becoming balanced because I am learning to embrace moderation and appreciate the value of “less is more.”

Attention to Chronic Illness Bloggers!

The MS Mommy Blog is looking to collaborate with other chronic illness bloggers for this year. If you have a chronic illness blog and would like an opportunity to tap into the MS Mommy Blog audience, please contact me here. I look forward to hearing from you.


Like this post? Make sure to follow me on your favorite social media platform and show some love by sharing it. Links found below.

Featured photo credit: Canva

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Balance & Harmony in Chronic Illness

2020 is now upon us, and that means a new blog theme for the year at MS Mommy Blog. 2020 is the year of vision: think about the importance of 20/20 vision, and the phrase “hindsight is 20/20.” It is also a year of balance, something that happens once a century. With that in mind, I wanted to focus this year’s theme on balance and harmony. While the year itself holds no power, we can use it to remind ourselves of the importance of incorporating balance and harmony in our lives with chronic illness.

I feel that focusing our energy on personal balance and harmony is timely considering the surge of global unrest and the role this year plays in American politics. I promise never to get political on this blog, but what I will advocate is finding ways to give yourself a break when the news gets to be too much. 

2020 is a year geared towards making a commitment to yourself and finding what keeps you centered in the face of politics, painful news stories, your health, your professional life, and your personal life. There’s a lot to handle this year, so now is the time to say, “I can handle it healthily.”

Let’s take a quick look for what to expect for the rest of this year.

Looking Ahead

In the coming months, look forward to posts on the following themes:

  • Moderation in our habits & mind
  • MS Awareness
  • Further examination with self-compassion in the face of physical limitations
  • Learning to balance strong emotions
  • Working through mental imbalance and bringing that into harmony
  • Embracing self-acceptance
  • The importance of work-life balance with a chronic illness
  • Embracing self-care for overall satisfaction
  • In the face of uncertainty, finding internal balance
  • Healing from disappointment and external turmoil
  • What is inner peace and how to find it

Balance & Harmony in a Chronic Illness

So what is balance and harmony with a chronic illness?

I am hoping that this year will help answer that question. I have my ideas of what it looks like for me, but as I do an in-depth examination into what others say on the matter, I might find my answer changes. I want to spend this year exploring this theme not just for myself, but for my readers as well.

Like last year, I will be chronicling my journey as I learn more about myself and what helps me manage my MS

New Features to the Blog

2020 is a year of different opportunities for me that I want to share with you. I plan on having several new features that run weekly or monthly on the blog. These include:

The weekly newsletter will be revamped shortly, so look for new newsletters in the coming weeks. If you haven’t signed up for it yet, please do so now!

Attention to Chronic Illness Bloggers!

The MS Mommy Blog is looking to collaborate with other chronic illness bloggers for this year. If you have a chronic illness blog and would like an opportunity to tap into the MS Mommy Blog audience, please contact me here. I look forward to hearing from you.


Like this post? Make sure to follow me on your favorite social media platform and show some love by sharing it. Links found below.

Featured photo credit: Canva


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Book Review: Waiting: A Non-Believer’s Higher Power

I’ve never been Marya Hornbacher’s target audience. I’ve never had an eating disorder, never diagnosed as bipolar, and I’ve never had to work to overcome a substance addiction. The closest I can come to her experience is getting diagnosed with OCD and learning to come to grips with my addiction to anger.

Twice in my life, I’ve found myself reading her books.

I first read Wasted back in the early-2000’s, possibly while still in high school. I went through a morbid stage, where I read a lot of real-life stories of those battling eating disorders. Her book was one of many, and I remember enjoying her writing style.

When I started searching for books to read for this month, books relating to a higher power, I wanted to go a non-traditional route. I tried to find a book told from a nonbeliever’s perspective. But not your typical atheist text, one filled with anger towards a particular higher power. I wanted one that examined if you could be spiritual without a higher power.

Marya’s book, Waiting, came back as a top result, and since I recognized her from Wasted, I decided to give it a go. I did not read a summary, nor did I research beyond the title, subtitle, and author. I placed it on hold from my local library and waited. It was a shock when I started reading it and realized I was not the target audience, again. Marya’s book is for people in the process of recovery who do not believe in a higher power*. But given how some popular recovery program’s require a higher power to work through the steps, there can be anxiety surrounding a lack of belief. Marya’s book fills that gap and provides comfort and assurance that a person can complete a program without belief.

Granted, it was my fault for not researching the book. I judged a book solely by its cover and as a result, found that it might not be for me.

But the book was for me. I may not be in recovery for substance abuse, I am in recovery for some equally destructive behaviors. Marya had plenty to say that applied in my own life, primarily as I work through the process of self-acceptance, and stepping outside of my addiction to anger.

So it ended up being a beautiful accident to read Waiting for this month’s book review. 

What follows is my review of a book I chose on my own. I did not receive any compensation for this review.

Book Information

Title: Waiting: A Nonbeliever’s Higher Power
Author: Marya Hornbacher
Date Published: 2011
Publisher: Hazeldon
Pages: 137
Genre: Spirituality/Recovery

Goodreads Link
Amazon Link (non-affiliate)
Official Book Website (non-affiliate)


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Book Review: Declutter Your Mind

After finishing Unf*ck Yourself, I did what many readers do and look for more books to read. I find that similar books help commit what I want to learn. One of the books that popped up was S.J. Scott & Barrie Davenport’s book Declutter Your Mind. I figured I would give it a go, considering July is all about mindfulness and loving ourselves. One thing often stands in the way of my own journey of love, and that’s the clutter that takes up space in my mind.

This book seemed like the perfect follow up to Bishop’s book since I still had some clutter holding me back. I wanted to get some new techniques, ideas, and perspectives to removing the clutter that prevents me from fully loving myself.


Note: I was not compensated to review this book, I am sharing my thoughts as it might help readers on their journeys. All links are unaffiliated and I receive no monetary benefit by providing them.


Book Information

Title: Declutter Your Mind: How to Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety, and Eliminate Negative Thinking 
Author: S.J. Scott & Barrie Davenport
Date Published: 2016
Publisher:  CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
Pages: 156
Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-Help

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Book Review: Salt in my Soul

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to read Mallory’s Smith’s book, Salt in my Soul, for this month’s book review.

Going into it, I was aware that the only reason I could read the memoir meant that it was published posthumously. Mallory kept meticulous, over 2500 pages worth of journal entries surrounding her journey with Cystic Fibrosis(CF). Before her double-lung transplant in 2017, she entrusted her mother with these entries, with the desire that if anything should happen to her, that her mother compile them into a cohesive book meant to help those “struggling with cystic fibrosis, loss, chronic illness, body image issues, depression, anxiety, or transplant.”

I would be lying if I said I jumped in immediately to read Mallory’s memoir when I received the book. It’s one of those books you have to circle a few times before committing to reading it. It has nothing to do with the writing style, and everything to do with the content matter. You know you are about to take an emotional journey with Mallory through her ups and downs, her victories and losses, all to end at the same place: her passing away.

Spending 294 pages with Mallory’s voice, told through Diane Shader Smith’s deft editing, you can’t help but fall in love with her writing style and ache when she aches, either through the physical pain brought on by the disease, or the disappointment in missing out on a potentially life-saving lung transplant.

None of this should dissuade you from reading Salt in my Soul, instead I hope it motivates you to read it for the gift of wisdom she gained during her fight. So much insight in such a young life, so much we can appreciate as we journey with our own chronic illnesses.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to read Mallory’s book for MS Mommy Blog, and appreciated reading someone else who had a similar philosophical journey as my own.


Note: I was approached to review this book, though I received no compensation to do so. All links are unaffiliated and I receive no monetary benefit by providing them.


Book Information

Title: Salt in my Soul: An Unfinished Life
Author: Mallory Smith
Date Published: 2019
Publisher:  Spiegel & Grau
Pages: 320
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir

Goodreads Link
Amazon US Link
Official Book Website

Salt In My Soul from Salt In My Soul on Vimeo.


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