Staying Resolute

Being organized is great to keep those New Year’s Resolutions on track, but that’s only half the battle. The other half is finding ways to maintain your motivation when you feel your drive to achieve personal goals slump. Setting mini-goals and creating rewards are the more obvious ways to keep going, but those are things to work towards, and not ways to stay motivated in between mini-goal to mini-goal.

That’s where we need to get creative.

Consider what motivates you. Depending on the resolution or personal goal, I am motivated by bad consequences or personal growth. Neither of these are bad nor correct. They are just what works for me.

After you’ve identified what keeps you going, consider what you need to do that aligns with that form of motivation. Below are some ideas for general motivation and productivity, but consider modifying a few to better suit your own needs.

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Mindful of the New Year

2017 was a relatively good year for me, though I decided to end it with a touch of the flu. I have issues with fatigue already, so ending the year and starting the new one with fatigue overload can be demotivating. It also means that my diet reset, by the original intentions of Ayurveda, will be imperfect due to taking Tamiflu.

Imperfect because I am technically not supposed to be consuming any form of medication during the detox – no “harsh chemicals.” I am not going to risk my health or ability to take care of Jai, so I will accept that the reset won’t be perfection and move on by continuing the medication. 

Flu or no, I am determined to have a positive start to this New Year.

Yesterday I began the reset and it seemed to go well, though these first two days aren’t as vigorous as the middle two days. It’s more about eliminating certain things from my diet in preparation of the more active phase.


Important before going any further: I highly recommend speaking with a healthcare professional if you want to do a reset like this, particularly if you are on medication that is extremely important to your health. Do not eliminate any medication that might cause harm in its elimination, no matter how temporary the reset. It is less important to get the reset “perfect” and more important that you maintain your physical and mental health. This is less about cleansing your body and more about helping beat bad eating habits. I advise using caution and common sense.


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2017: A Reflection

2017 was a good year for me.

Like many years, it was filled with its ups and downs. If I had to weigh it any particularly way, I would say that it was mostly filled with good times. But as the year closes, it’s important to reflect on the ups and downs to see what lessons the year taught me so I can approach 2018 fully prepared.

The Down Points

  • At the beginning of the year I dealt with a lot of stress with my social media intake. I found that the news and posts I was reading caused me a lot of frustration and took time away from Jai because I would get emotionally worked up. I realized that I had an issue with my internet usage, though I haven’t made many strides to correct that, other than blocking social media temporarily as a form of self-care.
  • I had an Optic Neuritis flare-up in July, and while most of these flare-ups are caused by personal stress, I have no clue where it came from.  I was picking up a project again around that time and perhaps the stress of that caused my flare-up, but I still am not 100% sure of what happened.
  • After dropping sugar, I discovered that I have a sensitivity to sugar cane. When I had some simple syrup in a drink several months ago, I found that I got a massive headache, fatigue, and felt nauseous. It’s rather disappointing to discover that I may not be able to consume normal sugar again. But I suppose it’s a good thing.
  • When I fell off track with my eating habits I found that I feel a little bit heavier, emotionally down, and have a lot more fatigue that is probably MS related. I think that once I do a diet reset and stick to my lifestyle changes, I will feel a lot better and resolve the bloat, depression, and fatigue; proof that food is fuel and what I consume impacts how I feel.

The Positive Points

  • After my flare-up in July, I found out that the brain lesions I previously had disappeared. While I am not sure about the status of the lesions on my spine, I do count the fact that my brain healed itself as a massive second chance I had needed in dealing with MS.
  • In March, my insurance provider reached out to me as a new mother with an accountability program to help get me motivated with improving my health. It was from here that the seeds of change started to form in my mind. The coach I worked with helped got me back into the idea of running, pushing me to do the training for the half-marathon back in October.
  • So far, through all my hard work, I have lost a total of 27 pounds since I started my blog. I am lower than I was in high school, something I never thought I would see again. I am still holding onto the big number from my heaviest weight during pregnancy to now. I am hoping I will reach that goal by March 2018 and announce it here.
  • Watching Jai grow has been an amazing experience. I was looking at some pictures from one year ago and it’s so hard to believe that is the same little boy. He’s laughing, starting to talk, figuring things out, walking all over the place… he is no longer a baby, but a full-fledged toddler.
  • I have made some personal strides in managing my personal stress. Ash and I were discussing it today, while I still get stressed over some stuff, I am light years ahead of where I was last year. I am learning to let things go and not let things bother me the same way as before.

MS//Mommy

I think the biggest change for me this year is having this blog. While I had the accountability coach, I made this my ultimate accountability buddy. If I said I was going to do something here, I made sure to stick with it. If I faltered, I made sure to own up to it as well.

I am grateful for my friend, Lady, for making the suggestion that I create a blog to track my changes. I have always wanted to be a writer, but never really had the confidence in my abilities. This blog provides me with the cathartic outlet to write how I want to with no restrictions. It also appeals to my love of research and compilation.

I am hoping to see this blog grow into something greater, though I am not sure what that will look like yet.

What I’ve Learned

The number one takeaway from 2017 is to “let it all go.” There are plenty of things that do require my worry and concern, but I am realizing that there are plenty of other things that aren’t as important. My priority is my family and my health, and everything else is just extra. Recognizing the difference between the two allows me to let the correct stuff go.

All of this seems cliche, but sometimes it really does take a low-point or a second chance  to get the important moments of self-reflection and accept what they say to us. I didn’t think I could do anything to help manage my disease without medication because I “attempted” to do so in the past.

“Attempted” meaning I didn’t really try very hard. I said I would eat healthy, but I wasn’t actually motivated to make the necessary changes.

But once I realized that I wanted to teach Jai how to be healthy and that I wanted to be around for him (in an active capacity) when he’s older, I decided that I needed to push myself to make the deep, psychological and physiological changes I had wanted to do for so long. Let everything go: mental baggage, physical baggage, emotional baggage.

I feel the healthiest I’ve ever been going into a new year.

Where I Would Like to Be in 2018

  • I want to figure out what foods serve me best and which ones I should avoid indefinitely (or consume on special occasions). I have my suspicions, but I am hoping after spending 6 months away from perceived troublemakers will help provide me with insight of what I should and should not consume. The month of June will be spent testing foods out and seeing how I react to them.
  • I would like to see the entire year without a single flare-up while I am still off of medication. Unless Jai self-weans in 2018, I don’t anticipate starting up Tecfidera just yet. If I can make it the whole year without a flare-up and feeling better without additional medication (amantadine for energy, Ritalin for energy/focus), then I will feel like I have temporarily seized control over my health.
  • Even more relaxed and not stressed out over things. Maintaining the “let it go” attitude, but also beginning to allow myself to feel more comfortable with myself. I haven’t been comfortable being myself for a long time, and since I am taking all these strides to feel better physically, I need to feel better mentally and emotionally. Stop trying to hide my true self in order to please others.
  • Reconsider my internet usage. Working on MS//Mommy is important, but I feel I spend way too much time on my phone outside of that. I’ve already started using the Forest App as a means to keep me off of my phone when Jai is up and about. I will need to consider going on a phone fast at some point during the year to break some bad habits.
  • While I never anticipated losing weight when I started all of this, I now have a weight goal in mind and that’s solidly in the healthy BMI range (+/- some pounds to account for fluctuation). I am just outside the actual range and it’ll be a few pounds more to get me where I want to be. This is low-level goal – so in order to maintain my sanity I am not going to focus as heavily on it.

2018 as a Teaching Opportunity

I think 2018’s motto should be “keep letting it go, no distractions, and push forward.” 2018 is going to bring a lot for me to handle, like any year, but I need to stay focused on not stressing out on stuff but keep moving forward even when the going is tough.

I anticipate hitting numerous walls, which is the norm for any sort of self-reflective/lifestyle change. I need to not let it get to me and keep going even when I feel down. Down days are okay, but what I do with them makes all the difference.

Here’s to a new year.

Happy New Year, everyone. I hope it’s a good one.


Resetting the Holiday Excess

Holidays can really wreak havoc with our eating habits. Sometimes it is easy to watch how you eat and other times it’s hard to say ‘no’ to that second Santa-shaped ginger cookie.

Now is the time when the weight-loss commercials ramp up for the New Year resolutions. These either work to motivate or discourage us. I will admit, whenever I saw the commercials in the past, I either ignored them or felt discouraged because I couldn’t justify joining a program to help lose weight. It always was a money and time-commitment issue for me.

As I got older, my personal philosophy evolved to this: diets, as they are, don’t work.

Interesting considering a good chunk of my blog is about “diet shifts”?

This isn’t saying that diets are ineffective, they can work if done properly, but diets tend to imply a short-term change to eating habits. Once a specific goal is met, it’s easy to resume previous eating habits and then find that the weight/health concern comes back.

Diets need to be about making lifestyle changes. Actively deciding that any changes in eating habits are not temporary, but are long-term shifts with the occasional indulgence.

Switching to a low-carb diet will be effective in losing weight in the short-term, but if more foundational changes are not made, all progress will be lost once carbs are incorporated back into the diet.

What are these foundational changes?

I am referring to the deeper reasons why we may eat unhealthy or to excess. For some it is an emotional comfort, for others, portions are hard to gauge. The science is clear that the food industry does make food more addictive and therefore it becomes easy to eat high-calorie foods in large amounts without being aware of it. If you struggle for an emotional or hormonal reason, the food industry isn’t doing you any favors.

But don’t let this discourage you in any way.

**Let me be clear: I am not shaming anyone’s reasons for eating the way they do. Everyone’s eating habits are different and their reasons for their eating habits are unique to them. I am referring to some of the more generalized reasons why we eat to excess.**

Sitting down and identifying what is problematic in the diet will help figure out what long term changes need to be made. Then it’s about making some drastic mindset changes to help keep the motivation through the difficult transition periods and temptations.

I don’t think I am a food addict, but I do know that I had issues with food and eating in moderation. It took a wake-up call over the summer for me to realize that I needed to make some deeper changes with how I approached food. I was addicted to sugar and junk food and I needed to change how I approached these types of food. Cutting these food items out permanently may not be the solution for you, but recognizing the need for moderation might be.

Deciding to make the changes for Jai and for myself was enough motivation to keep me going, but see what changes will help push you through to make long-lasting “diet” change this year.

Before starting down this path, consider taking a few days to prepare your body and your mind by “detoxing” or “cleansing” your eating habits.

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Be Generous to the Most Important Person: You

At this time of year, life can get overwhelming. There are social, familial, and professional obligations that all demand our full attention. While these demands don’t go away, they do seem more urgent at the end of the calendar year.

It is easy to get caught up in these demands and struggle to prioritize them (and sometimes they don’t allow for reasonable prioritization). It leaves a person feeling frazzled, burnt out, and hating the holiday season.

That isn’t the case for everyone, but I am sure we’ve all had moments in life where we would like to skip straight to January 2nd and move on with our lives.

We’ve run into others who feel this way: try going into a mall around this time of year. I’ll just leave it at that.

Piling on top of the usual life demands are calls for generosity from various organizations at the end of the year. Commercials are filled with pathos-based appeals to get the viewer to donate to various causes. Religious leaders ask their people to open up their wallets and give money, toys, or time to those who are less fortunate. Stories of tragic events lead to calls for donations of food, items, and blood. Passive social pressures increase: social media pages are flooded with posts from others announcing their generosity.

It gets extremely overwhelming.

The issue is, that when we think about the term “generosity” we think about it as giving to others. But look at the definition of the word:

Generosity
nounplural generosities.

1. readiness or liberality in giving.
2. freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or character.

3. a generous act:
   We thanked him for his many generosities.

4. largeness or fullness; amplitude.

Dictionary.com

Nowhere in the definition does it specifically define generosity as an act we give to others. It is an act of giving and love, but with no defined recipient.

When we get caught up in the minutiae we completely forget about the importance of taking care of ourselves. We are told that we should be generous with our time and care for others, but it’s extremely hard to care about another person if we don’t take care of ourselves.

If we care for our own needs first we can be more effective to others. And when everything becomes too overwhelming, we might be able to see through it with less stress and frustration.

The Importance of Self-Care

I saw this quote posted on a friend’s Facebook wall and it was the foundation for this post. I kept the original formatting:

self care isn’t always lush bath bombs and $20 face masks. sometimes, it’s going to bed at 8pm or letting go of a bad friend. it’s forgiving yourself for not meeting your impossible standards & understanding u are worth it. self care isn’t always luxury, but a mean for survival

Cheerful Nihilism

Self-care quotes, personal revelations about self-care, articles expounding self-care all make the rounds on a fairly frequent basis. Some of them connect with us and others we either ignore or go, “yeah, if only it was that easy.”

All the wisdom in the world about self-care/self-generosity does not mean anything if it doesn’t connect with you. And let’s be blunt about the quotes/revelations/articles: they aren’t saying anything new. It’s all steeped in common sense.

We just need them to remind us every so often.

I am not an expert that can espouse pearls of wisdom of how to better take care of yourself, but I do recommend that you be more generous to yourself. Allow yourself to be more selfish.

But this isn’t the same when we think about being selfish. This is a loving selfishness.

Recognize that you need to take care of yourself before you can care for others. The Mayo Clinic recommends that caregivers take care of themselves first before they take care of others. They acknowledge that a person must be selfish if they are going to be an effective long-term caregiver.

Everyone is a caregiver. For some, it’s for another person; for everyone, it’s themselves. We all must care for ourselves.

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