Lifestyle & Blogging

Love & MS

We don’t get to choose whether or not we get MS, nor do we get to choose when we get that diagnosis. For some, it comes while in a relationship and for others it comes outside of one.

Either scenario forces the following self-reflection: does my partner stay with me? and, do I disclose my situation on a date?

MS is difficult because it turns partners or potential partners into caretakers.

It fosters self-doubt after the diagnosis: is my partner with me because they feel obligated? do they resent having to care for me? are they only interested in me because they have to “fix” me? what happens if they leave or die before me?

It is little wonder that many bloggers and experts refer to MS as the third wheel in a relationship. It’s an unwanted obstacle that can put a strain on any current or budding relationship.

 

The Third Wheel

MS is the unpredictable cousin that comes into your life and needs a place to crash until they get on their feet. They take up space on a centrally located couch and refuse to leave when you want to watch a movie with your partner (or bring a date home).

They say they are looking for a job, but really spend all day watching half-hour courtroom shows with ads for injury lawyers.

It’s that cousin that interrupts you everytime you want to have a conversation with someone so you forget what you were saying and is up at all hours of the night making it hard for anyone to sleep.

Simply put: MS is an unwelcome third-party to your relationship that isn’t going to leave anytime soon. No matter how many times you ask it to get its act together and move on.

Trying to figure MS out and how it factors into a relationship is extremely hard. As a person with the diagnosis, I am trying to learn what I am capable of doing and what my limitations are. How much do I put on or ask of Ash? Should I even ask him to help? Is the relationship lopsided? Am I really that bad that I need his help? Or am I just imagining things?

MS is always hiding in the background of every thought or action I take. I have to plan out my day to make sure I have enough energy for when Ash gets home to make any interactions with him meaningful. I have to pause frequently and ask myself: am I feeling this way because this is normal for someone who only got 4 hours of sleep with a teething toddler, or is this because of the MS?

As you can see, I ask myself a lot of questions. I tend to overthink things and so it takes a lot of energy to manage my MS. So when it is time for quality time with Ash, sometimes I just don’t have what it takes to be the partner I think he deserves.

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Food & Recipes

Chocolate Power Protein N’ice Cream

Whether you have a picky eater or an under-eater, it is sometimes important for your child to pack on some weight. That’s when we, as parents, turn to supplemental nutritional drinks and foods that are high in calories that will help them gain weight faster.

Jai recently had a nasty cold which suppressed his appetite and caused him to lose about one pound. At his age, this weight loss was less concerning, but he was already on the low end for his age range, thus causing him to be underweight. During the cold, he was only consuming liquids like breastmilk and water, so I wasn’t worried about him being dehydrated, but I wanted to make sure he was getting all the important nutrients he needed and his daily caloric requirements. I also wanted to help him quickly add that pound back on and maybe an extra one for good measure.

I went out and bought a name-brand nutritional drink for toddlers. I looked at the label and was not happy with how much sugar the product contained. He hadn’t had that much sugar up to this point in his life, but I was concerned about his needing to gain weight so I bought the stuff.

He seemed to like it at first, but after a few sips he rejected drinking more. I suspect it was too sweet for him. I couldn’t try it myself, but even Ash was unimpressed with the flavor.

We put him to bed several hours later. I had thought the drink had left his system, but  the sugar and chemicals caused him to be a light sleeper and he woke up around 1am and screamed uncontrollably for about an hour (we tried to console him as much as we could). The only thing different about his eating habits that day was this drink.

We vowed never to do that again.

That didn’t solve my concern regarding his weight and need for nutrients and calories. I decided to experiment with what I had in the house.

I came up with a dense ice “cream” that uses fruit and maple syrup to sweeten it, but has avocados and peanut butter as a means to heft up the calories and protein.

Because it doesn’t contain any dairy, this will be okay for your little one while they have a cold, the frozen nature of the treat will soothe throats but not increase mucus production. It is also a tasty snack, so it shouldn’t be hard to get them to eat it if you have a picky eater. You can find the recipe after the cut.

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The Check-In

Final Thoughts for this Week

Today is the final day of my diet reset. Overall it went well and I am feeling better about my eating choices, though it wasn’t an easy process to get through. It got rather boring by the end and I was excited to be eating different types of fruit throughout the day if only for the variety they provided. The food that I made for the reset was delicious, but even delicious can get boring if you are eating the same thing over and over again.

How I am Feeling

I feel much better at the end of the week, a little bit lighter (I lost 2 pounds), and I don’t feel as bloated as I did on Sunday. I think that has a lot to do with the water I’ve been drinking; it certainly helped flush out the extra water weight I retained from high-salt and fatty foods. I also found that I enjoy drinking high-alkaline water, not because I think they do anything specific for my health, but because I like the taste and it’s easier to drink. I learned something new about myself.

I also feel more energized, though I am still feeling fatigue from the last vestiges of my flu. Once I have finally shaken off my flu fatigue, I can already tell that I am  motivated to dive into my running again. I just need the temperature to go up a little bit in the mornings. Running in temperatures lower than 20F are rough. I can do it, but it’s hard to be motivated to get out there when bed is so warm.

Cravings I Encountered

Some cravings I encountered throughout the week: fried foods, eating late, coffee, and bacon.

I was really surprised by the fried foods craving since I haven’t had anything deep fried since October. I think that was a carryover from the flu at the beginning of the week. I have learned that when I am sick, I really love to have fried foods for comfort.

The desire to snack after 7 pm wasn’t entirely surprising: that’s when I do the bulk of my snacking during the day. Once Ash is home and Jai is in bed, Ash and I sit on the couch and will snack while catching up on our shows. The snacks may be healthy in nature, but it’s the quantity that becomes unhealthy. There are nights where I will grab a snack just before going to bed because the idea hit me that I was “hungry.” Through this reset I realized that I was less hungry and doing it out of habit.

The craving for coffee was a surprise to absolutely no one. I went from drinking two cups of Americano a day to nothing. I use coffee as a natural means to boost my energy in the morning and early afternoon. I really love the taste of it, especially during cold winter days. I find it very soothing because of its familiarity and I missed that with the cold snap we’ve been going through. I had a few mild headaches that may have been caffeine withdrawals, but I drank a bunch of water and herbal tea to help minimize the discomfort.

I found that I was craving salty protein some of the time, specifically bacon. I don’t eat a lot of bacon, though when given the option, I will take it. This might also be attributed to the cold weather – looking to derive some pleasure in high-fat foods which is fine in small doses, but hard to moderate in the dead of winter.

Some Reflections

The detox/reset went relatively well, but not as well as I would have liked. I ran into some issues following the protocols I had planned by Day Four because life got a little hectic. I wasn’t able to do my morning ritual from that day forward because Jai picked up a really bad cold and needed care as early as 2 am some mornings. Getting up after that to do yoga was really hard despite going to bed around 10 pm.

When experts say to plan detoxes/cleanses around periods of time where it will minimally impact your life, they aren’t kidding. I couldn’t account for Jai’s cold, but considering I just dealt with the flu and he’s in close proximity to me, it wouldn’t be hard to extrapolate that he’d get sick too. So I probably should have delayed given the circumstances.

While this was a good start as far as length is concerned, I think a longer reset would be more effective for me. They say that it can take up to two months for a habit to stick and while I wouldn’t want to spend that amount of time on a reset, perhaps spending at least 9 to 12 days on it would be more ideal. It will help give me more time to break through some of my bad habits and understand my deeper cravings. I believe that the longer I go, the more random and intense the cravings are and I assume those are the really ingrained cravings that I might not normally notice. By bringing them to light, I can decide how to deal with them.

I think that my daily energy and feeling lighter comes from not eating after 7 pm. In fact, I would argue that the best thing I did through this entire reset was not eating after 7 pm. I think I have a lot of psychological energy tied up in my snacking late and this helped show me how dependant I was on it. I think that some of my extra weight comes from eating late and if I go a few more weeks not eating past 7 pm I might see some more weight lost because of it.

I don’t know how this impacted my MS, in fact, I don’t think it impacted it at all. It’s too short of a time for me to notice any appreciable changes in my health, but I did find that focusing on the regimen gave me something to think about and not worry about my MS as much.

Moving Forward

I am going to keep the following things from the reset: no eating after 7 pm and try to be in bed by 10 pm. Even if I don’t fall asleep right away, being in a position of rest helps get me through the next day and feel less tired when Jai wakes up in the middle of the night.

I am, however, going to pick up coffee again. I already have an Americano with my name literally on it waiting for me tomorrow morning. I really can’t go without my caffeine, no matter how healthier it might be for me. I need some vices.

I think I will consider doing some form of a reset every 6 months, almost like a booster shot. I considered doing a 3-day version every 3 months, but I will have to examine I am feeling with my diet at the beginning of March before I make any commitments. Doing it when my motivation is flagging will help keep me going and feeling good.

While I liked this modified version of the Ayurvedic detox, I am interested in examining other types of healthy resets. A juice cleanse, a raw food reset, possibly Keto, or just a very bland diet with nothing special to it. I want to make sure that whatever I try in the future it will be healthy and safe for me. By experimenting with different types, I might find the one that fits best for me or combine a couple into something that works. The whole point is to give my body a rest from all the junk I’ve put into it and feel refreshed by the end of it.

I will be eating a strict plant-based diet (no animal products whatsoever), no gluten, no sugar, and no alcohol. I may need to make a few exceptions here and there, but this will be stricter than I have been since before the holidays. So if I have a day or a meal where I indulge in something, it won’t be continued beyond that.

I want to shoot for June, a full 6 months of eating this way, as that will give my body plenty of time to remove the old stuff from my system, remove bad gut bacteria and allow the good bacteria to flourish. It will also help me determine if I have any allergies or sensitivities I was previously unaware of, like sugar.

2018 Health Goals

I anticipate that during the next 6 months I will reach my ideal body weight for my body type. If I want to be successful in this weight loss, I will need to maintain that ideal weight for at least 2 years. In order to do this, I will want to be more aware of my eating habits and if I re-incorporate anything back into my diet, do so in moderation. Allowing my eating habits to go out of control is what got me to my highest weight originally. I would like to not return to that point again.

When I go to see my neurologist in March, I want him to tell me that I am still doing well and that we don’t need to alter my treatment until I am ready. I already mentioned that I want to go the entire year flare-up free, which I think I can do by eating healthy, being mindful of my stress, and exercising.

I want to get my natural energy levels up to what I perceive is normal for everyone as often as I can. MS makes that difficult to do everyday, but if I can have more days with higher energy levels than not, I will consider that a success. This will be harder to measure, but if I feel that I can go the entire day without needing an actual nap, and just an hour of rest while Jai is sleeping, then it would be considered a low-fatigue day.

I will continue to check-in from time-to-time with how I am doing like before, but I will be shifting my blog focus away from my personal habits and onto healthier living habits overall.

What healthy goals have you made for this year? What are your plans to keep them?

Diet Shift

Mindful of the New Year

2017 was a relatively good year for me, though I decided to end it with a touch of the flu. I have issues with fatigue already, so ending the year and starting the new one with fatigue overload can be demotivating. It also means that my diet reset, by the original intentions of Ayurveda, will be imperfect due to taking Tamiflu.

Imperfect because I am technically not supposed to be consuming any form of medication during the detox – no “harsh chemicals.” I am not going to risk my health or ability to take care of Jai, so I will accept that the reset won’t be perfection and move on by continuing the medication. 

Flu or no, I am determined to have a positive start to this New Year.

Yesterday I began the reset and it seemed to go well, though these first two days aren’t as vigorous as the middle two days. It’s more about eliminating certain things from my diet in preparation of the more active phase.


Important before going any further: I highly recommend speaking with a healthcare professional if you want to do a reset like this, particularly if you are on medication that is extremely important to your health. Do not eliminate any medication that might cause harm in its elimination, no matter how temporary the reset. It is less important to get the reset “perfect” and more important that you maintain your physical and mental health. This is less about cleansing your body and more about helping beat bad eating habits. I advise using caution and common sense.


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Lifestyle & Blogging

Red Hats for Little Hearts

The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone and for those of us who craft, we tend to use that crafting skill as a cathartic outlet. For me, I have a lot of energy and so I crochet as a means to keep my hands busy and out of trouble.

It works most of the time.

I really enjoy making something for another person. I’ve made a Griffin, Phoenix, Lorax, and Scrump (from Lilo & Stitch) dolls for various friends and family members. The look of joy that comes on the receiver’s face always thrills me considering the time, thought, and effort put into the project.

Because this week’s theme is about generosity, I wanted to highlight a personal project my mom and I did with our crafting. The campaign is in February, so I wanted to provide enough time to raise awareness and give readers a chance to create something.

This year my mom mentioned that there is a program that collects handmade hats for newborns to raise awareness for heart health. February is heart health month in the United States, so this campaign is meant to raise heart health awareness for mothers and their newborn children by providing handmade hats for the little ones.

These hats will be distributed to local, participating hospitals to all babies born during the month of February.

How to Participate

This page provides all the necessary information, but here’s the quick run-down.

  • Find your state and select a group participating in the cause
  • You may need to contact the coordinator to get more information on how they want to receive the hats and their personal deadline
  • Make as many hats as you want and send them out before the deadline
  • If you are not a crafter or don’t have the time, consider donating to the American Heart Association

Restrictions

  • Hats will need to be simple, so please do not add any bows, pom-poms, or flowers to them (these pose choking hazards)
  • Currently this program is only in the United States, but I have a couple links below for other yarn-craft donation programs outside the States

Knitting Patterns

Crochet Patterns


Other Crafts for a Cause

If you make some hats (or participate in another project) be sure to post a picture of it in the comments below. I would love to see how they turn out!

Lifestyle & Blogging

The Science of Generosity

During the holiday season in the Western world, there is a mindset that people are to be generous with their time and money towards those who are less fortunate. A Christmas Carol is treated like a cautionary tale of what can happen if people pinch their pennies too much.

And to an extent, that is the case: in 2016, there was an upward trend in charitable gift giving with an estimation of $390 billion going to charitable causes, though this statistic isn’t isolated to a specific time of year. There are a number of reasons why people donate to charities at the end of the year: because it feels good, tax write-off, a cause of personal importance, appeal from a charity, etc. Though this survey points that none of these reasons were actually motivating factors and asks the readers why that might be the case.

We can only speculate what truly motivates people to give at the end of the year with this information, but my hope is because there is a feeling of generosity that permeates people during the holiday season. And there’s plenty of reasons why this might be the case.

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Information Huddle

Gluten and the Autoimmune Disease

Gluten is delicious. I love gluten. I love bread that is crusty on the outside yet chewy on the inside. I love bread-based sweets like donuts or kringles when I ate sugar.

While I love gluten, it can be problematic for people with autoimmune diseases and sensitivities like me, which is a huge disappointment for a consumate foodie.

What is Gluten?

“Gluten is a mixture of proteins found mostly in wheat, but also in barley, rye, and oats. These grains make up many of our breads, pastas, granolas, noodles, tortillas, and beers.” – Popular Science

In my previous jaunts into veganism, I became a huge fan of Vital Wheat Gluten (VWG) to make the ever versatile and ever tasty Seitan. Talk about overdosing on gluten.

If you don’t have any issues with gluten, I recommend either making seitan or going to a vegetarian restaurant with fake meat. Chances are it’s seitan and it’s mind boggling how similar to meat it is in flavor and texture. It’s perfect if you are a newly minted vegetarian/vegan and you still crave that meaty flavor.

Gluten, figuratively speaking, is one of the glues that binds the world together. In it’s various forms it helped civilizations grow and flourish when it was cultivated and it is in plenty of Western recipes that it has a solid place in our culture of eating.

For many people, gluten does not negatively impact or affect their health, though removing it from one’s diet is viewed as a means to promote weight loss. The science is still out as to whether cutting gluten from a person’s diet who doesn’t have an autoimmune disease is beneficial. But going gluten-free in recent years is the thing to do in order to promote personal health and well-being.

As an aside: I think being gluten-free falls into that category of: “if I think it works and I am seeing benefits from it, then it works.” I am not going to judge.

However, if you have an autoimmune disease, gluten can affect you differently and that’s what I want to examine further in today’s post.

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