In keeping with wellness month, I asked Terez from Inspireme.Love to let me share her post about the importance of self-confidence and how to achieve it as a means for personal wellness. It fits in nicely with the theme of this month, especially when it comes to promoting resolution success. Enjoy this inspiring post and check out all her other social media accounts below.
This post originally appeared on her Inspireme.Love blog back in March 2018.
Do you feel powerless? You’re desperately fighting to lock out all the hurt that consumes your life, but it seems like the more you harden to protect your heart the more wounded you become. When was the last time you lived an entire day free from low self-esteem, low self-worth, poor self-image, self-rejection, self-blame, and negative feelings about yourself? Just all of it? A full day where you were in control of your feelings, your thoughts, and weren’t riding the roller coaster of painful emotions? You were fearless, confident, and fulfilled. If you struggle with loving yourself or parts of yourself, or are constantly fighting the temptation to resent others who have what you desire, then pour yourself a cup of coffee girlfriend and get cozy, because you’re not alone on this one and we’re about to dig down into those deep-rooted wounds that make each day so hard.
I’m going to first tell you something about you that you may not believe at first, but I genuinely hope that you come to grips with it, despite any daunting past years of self-doubt you have been abused by. You are powerful. You are capable of transforming your pain into opportunity. You have the ability to break free from self-loathing. You have the strength to be happy. You have the courage to look fear in the face and show it who you are. You have the heart to love every bruised and beaten part of your mind, your body, and your spirit. You have the resources inside you that will transform your interior and exterior life into one of joy and peace. You are the answer to all the questions you’ve cried your heart out over. Stop accepting that you are nothing but damaged goods, you’re past help, and you’re just going to keep living day by day sinking further into this black hole as though it’s part of your identity. It’s not who you are. You my dear are a fierce lionhearted heroine that can slay anything that has the nerve to step in your way, make you question your essence, and threaten to influence your power. You’re just amazing, let’s put it that way.
If you feel like your life is an out-of-control mess, and if you were to be brutally honest with yourself, you’d find yourself admitting that you gave up on life and yourself a long time ago, take it from someone whose been there, you’re more than your emotions, experiences, and circumstances, and you have the power to make something astonishing of yourself. Do what I did and become your own damn boss. Take control. Here are my ingredients to self-made confidence that have empowered me to overcome anything that challenges me to turn on myself and live unfulfilled. You’ll find that once you are walking in confidence you will be living a very different life.
Do you feel worthy and deserving of a good and happy life? Your answer reflects your self-worth. If you feel unworthy and undeserving then you must strive to grow your self-worth so that you feel at your core your value in who you are justifies having an abundant life. When one has low self-worth they may feel worthless, that they belong in an unhappy lifestyle, that they deserve to be shamed, that their mistakes can’t be forgiven, that they need punishment, that they have to hurt themselves, or that they don’t deserve love. When one lives with low self-worth it is a very dark and lonely life. One often tries to quench the pain by things that boost their ego, such as puffing one’s self up and exaggerating one’s self. They enlarge themselves greater than they actually feel about themselves, leaving them unfulfilled.
Common behaviors that demonstrate this are bullying, mocking, putting others down, turning people against someone, attention-seeking, rejecting confident people, taking pleasure in making someone feel bad about themselves, deliberately hurting someone’s feelings, bad mouthing someone, spreading rumors, refusal to celebrate someone’s victories, rejoicing in someone’s mistakes, turning down an opportunity to support someone, projecting one’s insecurities onto others, belittling, insulting, throwing pity parties, taking envious action against someone, and measuring one’s own worth with status, wealth, achievements, beauty, popularity, respect, love, and admiration from others. The list goes on and on. When one measures their worth with the exterior they are perpetually placing value on something that is ever changing, such as the opinions of others. The result? One lives in an endless swing of high inflation to plummets of deep depression. There is no such thing as stability or safety. One lives fear-driven, hiding their authenticity behind a mask that they tie their identity to. (Perhaps a shot of whiskey would do us more good than coffee. Go get it girl!).