Checking In: Coping with Personal Stress

Disclaimer:  I am not a medical professional and none of these statements have been reviewed by one. What is my personal experience and observations may not be the same for another individual.

Read my full medical disclosure policy here.


Today a major milestone in my health journey. Five years ago, I had my very first MS flare-up. At the time, I didn’t know what it was, but I was lucky enough to get answers less than a year later.

Today’s post contains a more in-depth tale of my journey to the MS diagnosis and what brings about my flare-ups. Read the shorter version here.

2012: The First Time

A few days prior to my flare-up, I finished up my final classes, got my grades in, and flew up to Connecticut to help my parents move. As an only child with one year of marriage under my belt, my parents wanted to leave the cold hollows of New England and join Ash and me in Georgia.

This was a particularly hard journey for me because it meant that I would be saying “goodbye” to my childhood home. We moved in when I was 6 and I had many fond memories stored inside; there were over 20 years of memories and I was extremely sad to no longer have the ability to visit it.

December 13th would be my last night sleeping in my old room, and on the 14th I would help my parents finish loading up the moving truck and help them drive down to Georgia over the next three days.

I was not in a good mood. I was grumpy, irritable, but most of all, stressed out.

It was my second year teaching college students composition, struggling with normal Graduate school stressors, and now the final stress of losing what felt like a family member was too much for me.

But there would be more.

On the 14th, a little more than an hour away from my location, Newtown happened. I had to keep it together to help finish the moving process, but inside I was really struggling with all of my feelings. I had a tight burning in my chest as I swept and mopped the living room floor. I had to keep everything together.

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The product of my labor: a clean living room floor. Possibly the only time I did this chore in this house.

We loaded up the truck around 6pm, my mom and I hopped in her car, and we headed south while my dad followed in the moving truck. We were headed towards Pennsylvania where we planned to stay for the night at a motel.

I slept on a pullout bed which was extremely uncomfortable. I was exhausted, so I didn’t think much about the day’s events, and I fell asleep.

When I woke up, there was an oval spot in my right eye’s field of vision. I had a slight headache and I was feeling unwell. At first I thought my glasses were dirty, but no matter how often I cleaned them, that spot wouldn’t go away. I rubbed my eyes thinking there might be some junk with no luck. I didn’t understand what was happening as we went to get breakfast at the local McDonald’s.

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Found on the restroom door of that McDonald’s. Even with the spot in my eye I could see how dated this was…

I had had migraines before, but I never experienced an aura prior to the migraine. Normally I would not have a migraine and then boom, migraine without warning. My migraines were increasing in frequency. I would have one once a year and I was starting to get them every 6 months or so, so when I looked up my eye symptoms, it seemed like a natural progression.

Figuring it was an aura, I was relegated to being the navigator when I didn’t have a black skull cap I bought at a gas station over my eyes to help manage what I thought were the beginning moments of a migraine. When we stopped in Virginia for the night we all thought the spot would go away with a good night’s sleep.

It did not. In fact, it got worse. It didn’t cover my whole field of vision, but it was more prominent. The day before, I could kind of see through this smudge. Now it was a translucent spot that partially blocked objects.

I was definitely scared. I didn’t know what was happening and how to fix it.

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