Let’s be honest for a minute. It’s hard to embrace moderation sometimes. Some days you want to pile fried food on top of fried food, so you have a mountain of crispy, oily, golden goodness. Or you go out with your friends and decide “I’ve been good with my drinking lately, let’s just go wild and worry about the consequences later.” After each of these incidents, you may say to yourself, “I am eating nothing but salads for the rest of the week,” or “I am never drinking again.”
You’ve just swung to extremes.
Have you noticed that when you are amid an extreme, how unsettled you feel? As you pile on another onion ring from the buffet, there may be a voice in the back of your mind saying, “maybe you shouldn’t do that?” Or when you accept that third shot, that voice says, “you’re going to regret this in the morning.” Likewise, that voice is back there when you are piling on the salad greens, “this is gross, and I am sick of salads.” Or, “I wish I could have just one drink because that cocktail looks delicious.“
I think our bodies and minds desire moderation. Having some restraint in our decisions leaves us feeling balanced and in control. When we ignore or drown out the voice suggesting moderation, we throw everything off balance in favor of extreme behavior. Sometimes we don’t recognize it as extreme.
Moderation isn’t just Physical
In the above examples, I highlighted the physical side of moderation. It’s easy to show the swing of excess to prohibition with food and drink. But consider this: we do the same with emotions and our thinking. We can allow our feelings to overrun our perspectives, so we act out without thinking. Embarrassed or ashamed, we may try to steel ourselves against any future emotional outbursts. We vacillate between overly emotional to stone cold.
Or, we allow specific thoughts to overrun our minds until we are thoroughly stressed out. Then we swing to escaping into watching tv, playing games, or finding some other way not to think.
When we experience uncontrollable thoughts/emotions and move to hyper-restrained thoughts/emotions, that leaves us unsettled just as the physical extremes do. We become off-balance and feel more out of control, despite believing we are getting everything under control.
Remember the last time you were in an “extreme” state? What caused you to swing in the opposite direction, and how did you feel when that happened? Often, the event that triggers the swing is trivial, but our distress is so intense that we over “correct.”
Now think of the times where you felt balanced. It may be a specific area of your life, not all of it. Imagine how you might be deflecting situations that generally cause you to swing back and forth. Do you? Or do you brush these incidents off and keep moving, staying in balance?
That’s moderation, and it’s vital to bring moderation into all aspects of your life to bring yourself more in balance.
In short, moderation couples with mindfulness. I wish I could escape talking about mindfulness, but as I deal with my chronic illness and life changes, I’ve found that being mindful keeps me on the path of moderation and contentment.
Over the last few months, I’ve been working through the lessons that moderation teaches me. I want to share what I’ve learned, what I am currently learning, and what I hope to gain from these lessons for the rest of February.
This year is going to be a year of extremes, so learning to embrace moderation on a mental level will help protect me emotionally and physically for what’s to come. I want to share this insight at the beginning of the year, so understand where we go for the rest of the year.
Attention to Chronic Illness Bloggers!
The MS Mommy Blog is looking to collaborate with other chronic illness bloggers for this year. If you have a chronic illness blog and would like an opportunity to tap into the MS Mommy Blog audience, please contact me here. I look forward to hearing from you.
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