identifying-wellness-changes

Identifying Wellness Changes

So often I get caught up with what’s going on in my life, at the moment, that I don’t take the time to step back and appreciate my development as a person. It’s easy not to recognize how we’ve grown as a person, partly because we are too close to the situation.

Or, more often is the case for me, I don’t reflect on the changes I’ve made and assume I am staying in one place. I presume that I am not experiencing growth because I don’t think of identifying my maturation. If I am bogged down with routine, I take for granted the moments where I behave differently than in the past. I miss seeing the benefit I am getting from my wellness changes.

It’s essential to appreciate the changes we’ve made, no matter how minuscule they might seem, because any change in a positive direction is a great start.

Identifying Changes

Back in February, I devoted a whole month to self-reflection. If we want to see what changes we’ve made throughout this year, we have to dive back into the self-reflection process. Hopefully, this will be less painful than a full-assessment of ourselves. If we feel like we haven’t done a lot of internal work this year, there might be a hesitation to self-reflect because of shame.

Unfortunately, we’ll have to push through those feelings of shame. At the end of the year, take a few moments to reflect on the positive. When your mind drifts into negative thinking, find something positive you did recently, and see what motivated you to do it. 

How will you know a change you made throughout the year is a positive one?

When making wellness goals, we often say things like: I want to exercise more, eat healthier, feel more satisfied, etc. And we’ve been through this cycle before: after making changes, two things happen. We “Fail,” as in, we give up. Or, we “fail” because we don’t notice changes quick enough, and feel like we are wasting time. 

It’s the lower-case “fail,” that we are examining today. Chances are if you don’t notice any positive changes in your life for the year, you didn’t fail. You just aren’t looking hard enough at what you have done. If you are continuing with your changes, despite not seeing the results that you want on time, consider this: you are sticking with it, and that counts as a success.

The entire point of this blog is tracking my wellness journey with MS as I wait to restart my medication. I wanted to get healthy to help manage my flare-ups and to provide a positive example to Jai. There are plenty of days where I don’t think I’ve made a difference in my life. I don’t see the results, so I assume I am spinning my wheels.

These last two months are proof that I’ve made changes, and the changes are working for me. I wrote about Lytton’s health issues at the end of October, and less than a month later, we had to say goodbye. The week we put him to sleep was stressful, surpassing the week I spent in the hospital utterly clueless about what was wrong with me, pre-diagnosis.

Not counting watching Lytton suffering through the final hours of his ailment, I fell from running the week before, Jai was sick, I had a mild infection, stress of an upcoming trip, and wondering when I would find time to catch up on the blog like I planned. Spoiler: I never caught up by evidence on the tardiness of this post.

When the dust started to settle, about a week or so later, I took a moment and realized something. I did not experience a flare-up. Given the amount of stress I was under, all the various negative moments I experienced, I was relatively calm and no indication of a flare-up.

I was pleased with myself. I weathered a hurricane of adverse events that, at any other point in my life, would have left me feeling defeated. I acknowledged that there are cycles in life where it feels like everything is piling on. I am in that cycle, but it will end, and I have to stay calm until then. I can’t fight life, as fighting will cause more stress. If I remain steadfast, acknowledge the feelings of frustration or sadness as they come up, and keep moving forward, I won’t drown in self-defeat.

Additionally, I experienced relapses for less. Granted, I still have a few days here and there where I want to stay in bed for a few hours over Lytton’s loss, but I know it’s coming more from depression and not from my MS. The fact that I am still managing my MS without medication and not undergoing a relapse shows me that the changes I made are working. 

Hopefully, you aren’t experiencing a down cycle where life is piling on to show you the effectiveness of your life changes. But I hope you take this away from the post: even if you don’t notice the changes working, chances are you are in a better space than you were before you started.


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Featured photo credit: Canva

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reflecting-on-wellness-journey

Reflecting on a Wellness Journey

December. We’ve reached the end of our wellness journey for the year. Now it’s time to start reflecting all we’ve accomplished. It’s hard to believe that 2019 is coming to a close; it feels like it was just January. Time marches forward, and we are looking at a new year in a few short weeks.

If you joined me on this wellness journey or participating on one of your own, it’s crucial to look back on all you’ve done these past eleven months. Doing so recognizes the changes you’ve made that work, see the changes you still need to make, and figure out your next step in life. It grants you awareness and validation for what you’ve been through, even if it feels like you’ve moved backward. Chances are, you haven’t moved back, just forwards at a slower rate.

For the rest of December, we’ll be spending some time reflecting on 2019 in anticipation of 2020. Hopefully, together, we can see our progress and feel good that we’ve made it through another year. Who knows what the new year will bring?

New opportunities, new chances, or new outlooks on our health.


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Featured photo credit: Canva


Autumn Rest

For whatever reason, I struggle to write in November. I don’t know if it has something to do with the shift in weather, the pending holiday season, or writing burnout. But every November since I started this blog, I struggle to write. Additionally, dealing with Lytton’s health issues makes it hard to keep up with my weekly writing.

Rather than adding to my stress, I am following my own advice and engaging in self-care. I will be taking the month off from creating new content. If you are a newsletter subscriber, you will still get a new email each Friday morning. If you aren’t subscribed, it’s never too late to join the 2019 wellness challenge.

I will be revisiting some of my older posts for the month on the blog, updating the content with fresh thoughts when appropriate. Join me over at Facebook and Twitter for related articles to my posts.

I will re-start new content on December 2nd, so it won’t be a long wait. I have a gift for all my readers available for download towards the end of the holiday season, so be ready!

Have an excellent November, and I will see you in December.


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Featured photo credit: Canva


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Changing Physical Appearance with a Chronic Illness

I’ve avoided addressing the elephant in the room since I started the year making personal wellness changes. It’s a sticky subject and somewhat challenging to address when it comes to a chronic illness. Chronic illness and/or disability make any meaningful physical changes difficult (if not impossible). If you are unable to move for more than a few minutes a day, then dedicating that time to exercise is furthest from your mind. Priorities change and addressing your physical appearance can drift towards the bottom of the list.

And that’s okay. Let’s move our intention away from changing our appearance, i.e., losing weight, and refocus on being healthy. Exercising does not need to be about losing weight, but about moving to help your body heal and thrive. Weight loss can become an added bonus, but not a goal.

I started the MS Mommy Blog to be a space where I detail my wellness journey into healthy living and eating. My journey was never about changing my physical appearance, it was strictly about setting a good example to Jai and taking advantage of a positive MRI result. I accepted the following three things: I would never dip below an overweight BMI, never have a body I would be proud of, and never find a source of natural energy.

Because of MS fatigue, I had little desire to go out in the blazing Southern sun and humidity to exercise. Eating was a pleasure I gave myself, especially when I was despondent post-diagnosis. I say all of this because I understand how hard it is to take the initial steps towards making physical changes, but it is possible to start the process no matter your ability levels.

What I am about to discuss is based solely on my personal experience and I am not an expert. Because this is based on anecdotal evidence, your own results will not match mine (and that’s okay). Everyone’s path looks different and that’s okay. Speak with your healthcare professional about your ability levels and any recommendations they might have for you.

Stuck in the Body

When coping with a chronic illness, we are stuck in our bodies.

If you are reading this with a chronic illness, you know this, but I say that for the benefit of those without a chronic illness. It’s easy for outsiders to forget that we are stuck with the body we are in, particularly if our illness is invisible. It’s in those moments we get the harmful comments of: “just get up and exercise,” “it’s in your head,” or “you don’t look sick.”

Getting those comments, and living in a culture where we often ignore invisible illness, makes any desire for change discouraging. We are stuck within numb, shaking, fatigue-ridden, weak bodies that don’t listen no matter how many times we yell at it.

Being stuck in a body is discouraging, especially when you see others chase after their physical goals. Or when you see people squandering their abilities. It’s even more frustrating when you start comparing yourself to others with your particular illness and see how they are able to be active ways you aren’t.

That’s where the first change needs to occur: stop comparing yourself to others. Those with a chronic illness and those without. And you have to stop listening to what people and culture tell you (this includes this blog).

The changes you decide to make must be in your time and in ways that work for you. Do not use this an excuse to not make the changes, you do want to take time to get healthier, but do it without any expectations beyond finding a way to feel better that complements your disease management course.

Determine what you can change & what you can’t

There is so much wisdom in knowing what you can change and what you cannot. There are aspects to our bodies we cannot change unless we had unlimited income, and even that’s limited.

The key is to figure out what is changeable and what you have to accept will be a part of you unless certain circumstances change. Once you know what you can change, then you have to decide how much you want to focus on it and how much of it you’ll put into the “secondary” goal category.

Everyone can lose weight, but do you want that to be a primary goal or something that happens as a side effect to being able to move more?

For some, the idea of losing weight is emotionally painful, so that should not be the first physical goal you make. Instead, if your healthcare professional recommends moving more as a means to help manage your illness, then consider adding a fifteen-minute walk in each day and build up to thirty.

Or if you are advised to cut a particular food from your diet for health reasons, rather than seeing it as a loss, view it as a challenge to figure out how to make alternatives to your favorite foods.

When you make the changes you can and frame them in more manageable ways, you should notice secondary benefits. When I cut sugar from my diet, I was shocked at how much weight I unintentionally lost.

Choosing Health

Focusing on physical appearance and any changes you want to make is discouraging. If you had a weight loss goal for this year, are you still sticking to it? Or have you given up on it entirely?

Revisit your goal if you’ve dropped it and refocus it to be about your health. Don’t think about the pounds you want to lose, but how you want to feel by the end of 2019. Not all of the suggestions below are about weight loss, but about finding ways to adapt to your chronic illness:

  • If your illness prevents you from walking more than five minutes at a time if you can safely do it, why not see if you can add on a minute or two?
  • If your weight prevents you from doing basic chores, why not focus on one chore to do and do it well?
  • If you are mostly bed bound and you want to get more exercise, consider small hand weights or a resistance band for twenty minutes a day.
  • If you want to eat healthier, why not consider dropping one sugary or unhealthy snack in your day? If you find you’re hungry, consider adding in water or some other healthy alternative.

All of these changes are small, and if you are getting started, that’s all they need to be. For myself, I found that small changes snowball into bigger ones because I was encouraged by my results to keep moving forward.

Learning to Love your Body

Before you reach your personal health goals, the first thing you need to work on doing is loving your body as it is, warts and all. This includes accepting the chronic illness that inhabits your body. You don’t have to like that it’s there, but just accept that it’s a part of you and you need to adapt around it.

When you take the time to accept your body as it currently is, in this very moment, it takes the pressure off of yourself. When you don’t meet your goals for the day, you can say to yourself “that’s okay, there’s always tomorrow and these things take time.”

Don’t take this as an opportunity to slack off, you still want to work towards making healthy changes, but you don’t need to put as much pressure on yourself that you might feel you need.

Additionally, when you learn to love your body in its current state, you no longer seek validation from outside sources. We look to media and others as opportunities to compare and rarely do we measure up. If we have friends and family influencing our decisions because of a snarky response, we may get sidetracked.

Rather, say to yourself: I am doing this for me, I am doing this to be healthy, and I am doing this because I want to make a change. Then mentally give the middle finger to those who want to keep you down.


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Featured photo credit: Jennifer Burk on Unsplash


i-want-to-make-personal-changes

I Want to Make Personal Changes

We all reach a moment where we say “I want to make personal changes.”

That moment comes when we are unhappy with our lives, or our relationships, or how we manage our chronic illness. When we say “enough,” we self-reflect. But when we self-reflect, we realize that there’s a lot of changes that need to happen to become our ideal self. And that’s where the desire for personal change can stop.

We should acknowledge that we don’t like making these changes, but that they still need to happen.

I Don’t Like This

Humans are complicated creatures, so there isn’t one source for what frustrates us. While I can point to specific influences in my life as the reason why I think a particular way, there is a lot more going on in the background. Many times, I am unaware of these background influences. I just know that I think I am inadequate.

Rationally, I know these thoughts are false. But these thoughts and actions have a hold of me and make it difficult to see past my flaws.

I am lucky that I can point to some situations in my past as the source of what I need to change. That isn’t always the case. There are reactions I have, and I don’t know where they come from. In these situations, it makes it more difficult to want to make the necessary changes.

Knowing the source of my anger makes it easier to acknowledge it and be mindful of it. I may not always successfully deal with it, or even attempt to deal with it, but I am more likely to try and do something when I am able to say “oh, that reaction stems from when the kids in the neighborhood wouldn’t play with me.”

In cases where I don’t know the source of my behaviors, I am more likely to be resistant to making positive changes. It’s stepping into an unknown, and I don’t like that. I don’t have control over what’s happening or what I am thinking. But I know I have to make a change because continuing behaviors that are unhealthy aren’t helping me manage my parenting or my MS.

Hopefully, this resonates with you. You may feel similar: I don’t know why I behave this way, and I don’t want to take steps to change because the idea is discouraging. Know that you are not alone, especially in your chronic illness, and you can make those changes because I know you can. You want to achieve your goals and the only way to do that is to make changes to the unknown and what you don’t like.

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